


Nesting

by acme146



Series: A Whiteness of Black Swans [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife, Babies, Bunker Life, Chuck is God, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Fluff, Happy Ending, Major AU, Multi, Pranks, Weddings, lots of fluff, working through issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10080497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acme146/pseuds/acme146
Summary: A series of oneshots set in the 'A Whiteness of Black Swans' universe, featuring weddings, babies, family bondings, life after death, Gabriel being both the worst and the best in the family, and maybe even forgiveness. Appearances from just about everyone except John Winchester (because no one knows where he is and no one cares).





	1. New Additions

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel! Sorry this took so long, I accidentally deleted the first 4000 words of the story (I hate you Microsoft Word glitches) and chapter 3 was kicking my butt. For people who may be thinking 'well, I didn't read the original, but I will be okay to read this'....this is not one of those sequels. You need ALL the context.  
> Now, let's go to the battlefield...

            The armies stood ready, flags flying in the wind. The only sounds were the faint babbling of the judges, sitting close together at a table.

            One side was short two members, but they weren’t afraid. They had the battle plan of the missing Sage, and the Lady, while well-beloved, hadn’t been able to fight for months.

            Besides, the judges were the children of their Handmaiden.

            The Handmaiden stood proud at the head of his troops, waiting for his Queen to give the word. His husband stood beside him, looking every so often towards the judges. There was always trouble when those two were bored.

            Finally, the Queen’s consort raised her hand. The Handmaiden stepped forward, ready to give one of the three speeches he knew (he’d already used the _Braveheart_ speech that month)…

            Then his phone rang.

            “Oh come on, man!” someone yelled from the other side.

            “Shut up!” Queen Charlie said sharply. “We talked about this before, remember?”

            The heckler fell silent. They’d all heard about the possibility of a character break today.

            “Yeah, Sammy?” the Handmaiden was saying. He paled. “Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute.” He hung up. “Sorry, everyone. We’ve got to go. I’m about to be an uncle.”

            Both sides erupted into cheers.

            “Send Lady Sarah our love!”

            “We all want pictures!”

            Dean nodded distractedly as he dashed to the judge’s table and picked up his son.

            “Daddy, what’s going on?”

            Dean glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Cas had their daughter before heading to the Impala. “Aunty Sarah’s having her babies,” he explained. “We’re going to see them.”

            The little boy clapped his hands with delight.

            Sam held Sarah tight as another contraction ripped through her body. “You’re doing so well, honey,” he whispered soothingly.

            Sarah panted and tried to smile. “You have no idea how I’m doing, but I appreciate the trying.” She winced. “Adam, how much longer?”

            “Don’t look at me, I’m only pre-med!” Poor Adam had been home when Sarah went into labour, and once it was clear she wasn’t going to make it to the hospital, he’d been roped into helping. Sam had never appreciated his brother more.

            Kevin was also home. He’d locked himself in his room to pray for Gabriel to “please come quickly!” (poor kid couldn’t stand seeing people in pain). As Gabriel’s prophet, he had the best chance of getting through to the archangel in time. As Sarah screeched in his arms as another contraction hit, Sam worried for the first time that he wouldn’t make it in time.

            _Women still die in childbirth._

But no. It couldn’t be. Not after the last seven years, after their wedding and the art gallery just above the bookstore…

            _Please Gabriel. Please hurry._

            Gabriel appeared out of nowhere, looking a bit frazzled. “Sorry, kiddos. Bit of trouble on Asgard.” He put a hand on Sarah’s forehead, and she sighed with relief. “I didn’t think you’d be this fast.”

            “Is something wrong?” Sam asked worriedly.

            “No, everything’s fine,” Gabriel said soothingly, his hand going to Sarah’s stomach. “Kiddos are just excited to be born. They should be, family like this.”

            Sam smiled, but his worry didn’t totally fade. Of course his twins would be lucky to have this family—they had an amazing mother, wonderful aunts and uncles, and two cousins (with another on the way, once Hannah was satisfied with her nest). But…would they want him? He’d had some practice with Mary and Adam, but that was being an uncle, not a dad.

            “Sam. Focus up.”

            Sam looked at Gabriel.

            “You’re going to be just fine,” Gabriel promised, his voice unusually gentle. “Now let’s get your babies born, okay?”   

            The last few moments of the birth were a complete blur. Sarah crying out from pressure, not pain, Adam searching for the blankets Benny and Anna had made, Gabriel chanting quietly in Enochian...

            Then—“Sam, hold your daughter while I get your son turned around.”

            Adam took hold of Sarah as Sam let go, holding his arms out for the baby wrapped in a blanket crocheted with suns. The tiny baby looked up at him, and Sam felt himself start to cry. “Hi baby,” he whispered. “I’m your Daddy. It’s so good to meet you…”

            He heard Sarah gasp and turned to see her reaching for a baby swaddled in stars. “Hi sweetheart,” she crooned. “Oh, you’re beautiful…” She brought their son to her breast and he latched on hungrily. Sam gently lay down beside her, holding their daughter so she could feed too. Sarah looked up at him, and Sam was struck by the love in her eyes, the love he never thought he would have.

            “Our babies,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”

            “I love you too,” Sam whispered back, throat tight. “I love you all…”

            It was awkward like this, but he managed to take her hand.

            “Do you need anything, Sarah?” Adam asked gently. Gabriel was cleaning up, laying a hand on Sarah’s stomach once more.

            “I could sit like this forever,” Sarah replied dreamily. Then she blinked. “Actually, I’d better get covered up a bit before everyone comes in. And…maybe some water?”          

            “Water coming up,” Adam promised. As he opened the door, Kevin poked his head in, his headphones dangling.

            “Is it…is it over? Omigosh, they’re adorable!”

            Sarah laughed. “The screaming’s over, Kevin. Come on in!”

            Kevin came in and cooed over the babies. Their son finished feeding first, and they switched babies. Sam studied his son’s face. _He looks like Dean_ , he realized. And then, _he looks like me too._

Adam had returned with water and some fruit and the twins were both cuddled between them—

            Then a stampede began over their heads.

            Adam glared at the ceiling, and Sarah giggled. “I think our family’s home.”

            Sam could hear Jody and Donna’s voices among the clamor, trying to shush the mob.

            “They seem okay,” Sam noticed. His son actually looked sleepy.

            “They’ve had a while to get used to it,” Gabriel agreed. “Oh, Balthazar called—he and the Braedens are on their way.”

            The door swung wide and the family poured in, Dean leading the way with Adam Gabriel in his arms. Everyone was in Moondoor gear except for Jody and Donna. Charlie’s crown was askew and Benny’s quiver was upside down.

            “Did you guys get any fighting done?” Sam asked. He was smiling—he couldn’t stop smiling.

            “Nah, we got your call just before we started,” Dean said softly, tenderness in his eyes. “Look at you two, huh? As pretty as your mama, thank goodness.”

            “Jerk.”

            For a moment everyone just looked at the babies, all crowded into the small Bunker room he and Sarah had shared for seven years. Seven years leading to two new lives.

            “So,” Meg asked in a would-be casual voice. “What are their names?”

            “We should tell them, shouldn’t we sweetheart?” Sam asked Sarah. “After all, they’re the newest members of our family.”

            “Yes,” Sarah agreed. “And they need to settle their bet that they don’t think we know about.”

            The humans in the room blushed. Benny just shrugged. “Thought I could make some easy money.”

            “Well, we’ll see,” Sarah said. She cradled their daughter closer as she fussed. “This is Abigail Ellen. We’re going to call her Abby, that’s what my—my mom went by.” She blinked hard, and Sam squeezed her hand.

            “And—where are Bobby and Rufus?” Sam asked, distracted. They’d gone out for groceries about two hours before.

            “Right here, son.” Bobby pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He beamed at the babies. “You both did good work.”

            “Sarah did most of the work,” Sam said immediately.

            “You did work too,” Sarah corrected him. Sam knew she wasn’t referring to the ecstatic moments of conceiving their children, or even the months where he hovered over her, making sure that she didn’t want for anything (until she told him to go away and let her breathe on her own). No, she was talking about the years before, when he shook in the nights and tried to believe that she could love him. That he could ever love her enough.

            It was the hardest work he’d ever done, but today, holding their children, surrounded by their family, Sam knew it was worth it.

            “Well,” Sam said, coming back to the present, “I wanted to name our first son—”

            “What do you mean first?” Sarah cut in.

            “Sorry,” Sam sputtered. “I thought you wanted more kids; if you changed your mind that’s okay.”

            “I haven’t changed my mind,” Sarah replied. “But why are you so sure our next kid is going to be a boy? Maybe it’s a girl.”

            “I think you might both be right,” Gabriel said casually.

            Sam didn’t press that. “Anyways…I wanted to name our first son after the two men who raised me. Who made me who I am.” He held his son up. “Say hello to Robert Dean, everyone.”

            Dean’s eyes filled with tears. Cas took Adam from him and Dean gently took the baby, cradling him between him and Bobby. “Hey little man,” he whispered. “Welcome to the family.”


	2. Lawfully Wedded Wives (for Lady_Swiftpaw)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first wedding! Well, the second, but let's not get technical.

            It was the second wedding for both brides, but you wouldn’t know it. The joy of being in love was evident in the brunette’s worry free eyes, in the smile on the blonde’s face.

            They were three years away from their marriage being legally recognized, but it was in some ways more official than any other. After all, how many couples had been married by the Messenger of God?

            (Three, in case you’re curious. The first was a frightened, hopeful couple in Israel, long, long ago.)

            The wedding took place in the small community hall in Sioux Falls. Everyone turned out to support their sheriff and new deputy, and they were friendly to the newcomers. They were introduced as ‘Singer’s brood’, which caused some laughs from the angels, but no one denied it.

            Gabriel held himself back that day. Only Sam and Charlie, the attendants, noticed the slight glow of the rings, and anyone who made muttering remarks about either bride only suffered from mild ringing in their ears for twenty years, not the rest of their lives.

            When the vows were spoken, Donna picked up Jody and kissed her, and even though Jody swore at her she was smiling too broadly for anyone to take her seriously. The whole group trouped out to have an enormous feast. Dean helped Donna into the bridal thrones he and Bobby had built, and imagined his own wedding.

            Before the cake was served, Donna stood and raised her glass. “I want to thank you all for being here, especially my lovely wife.”

            Jody rolled her eyes.

            “My whole life I’ve been told that I had to be different. I had to be smaller, prettier, quieter, smarter. And last time I got married, I married someone who told me the same things.” Donna took Jody’s hand. “I’m so glad I got a second chance, baby, and I’m so glad it was with you, because you make me feel like I am enough.”

            Jody was crying. “I never thought I’d be happy again,” she whispered. “Thank you so much for proving me wrong.”

            Cas looked over to see Balthazar with his head buried in Lisa’s shoulder. Lisa patted his head gently, and smiled at Cas.

            After everyone had eaten cake, the brides gestured to a fountain Gabriel had set up. Everyone was supposed to toss a coin in, and the money would go to developing an LGBTQ+ group for Sioux Fall youth. Everyone emptied their pockets, and Donna joked that everyone should make a wish, since it was a lucky day.

            Gabriel may not have controlled himself entirely. The next morning, Sarah woke up to a notification that someone was selling a building big enough for a small art gallery, with room for a small store downstairs. Sam had a missed call from the used bookstore he frequented a town over, where the owner was ready to retire and pass his beloved books onto someone who appreciated them. Adam found an engagement ring, the one he’d been searching for.

            The brides left the wedding for a cabin in the woods with pictures turned over. The next day, Donna helped her wife hang them back up, explaining that the present didn’t have to ignore the past. They played darts with a picture of Doug’s face that night.

            Six months later, they returned to the cottage with a sullen, scared twelve year old named Alex. Benny had taken out a vampire nest and found their Lure, and after sharing his story he brought her to Jody and Donna.

            A year after the marriage, the three went to the cottage again to celebrate the new family they’d built. Alex blossomed, learned to cook from Benny, studied hard, and never met a boy named Henry. Instead, she met a girl named Claire, whose family moved to Sioux Falls to be closer to their ‘guardian angel’ and his family.

            When they grew up, Claire tried to drag Alex into hunting, but she never got further than the Safe House Network, homes scattered across the country where hunters could come in, lick their wounds, get some good food and information, and go back out. Claire’s favourite house was the cabin in Kansas where a dark-haired woman developed the best recipes for comfort food, bound wounds and kept pictures on the wall of happy couples in the community.

            Eventually their picture went up too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it 100% clear, Alex and Claire weren't raised as sisters in this AU. Also, apparently when I write this AU my brain goes 'rarepairs yes' at all times.   
> Next chapter should be up Wednesday, but it might be delayed until Thursday because of my Harry Potter series (which hey, feel free to check out :) )   
> Cheers,   
> Acmer


	3. The Apologies of Archangels (for Lady_Swiftpaw)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Adam have been enjoying the afterlife, but an important date rolls around and they have to face their pasts one more time.

            Sam turned the page of his book and smiled when he felt his wife drop a kiss on his head.

            “You’ve read that book a thousand times.”

            “I just felt like reading this again.” Sam tapped the cover. “After all, we have the time.”

            “Funny how being dead will do that,” his wife agreed.

            They’d been dead over nine hundred years now, and Sam could hardly remember how they’d died. They were together here, and that was enough. Their families were close by, and sometimes their descendants would come and join them. It always gave Sam a thrill to see someone with Sarah’s eyes, with Charlie’s smile, with Dean’s skill. They’d left the world a good legacy, and from the stories that came up it was lasting.

            “Is Jess coming over?”

            “Yes. She’s bringing cookies.”

            Jess had begun to join them about three hundred years ago, first just in visits and then in their bed. It still blew Sam’s mind that this was happening, but his wife and girlfriend, who adored each other as much as he adored them, helped him to get over that most of the time. Being able to love them both was one of the best parts of being dead, and he tried to show his gratitude as best he could.

            Sam reached up and took Sarah’s hand. They were as happy in death as they had been in life, with their loved ones around them and plenty of things to explore. Maybe later their children would come over, and they could watch a movie.

            There was a knock at the door.

            “Is that her already?”

            “I don’t think so,” Sarah frowned. “She likes to do things in real time.”

            She went to the door and opened it to Chuck.

            “Hi Chuck,” Sam said, standing up automatically. It was odd to see God; he was busy, after all. Now that Sam thought about it, he hadn’t seen Chuck in over a hundred years.

            “Hello Sam, Sarah. How are things?”

            “Everything’s great,” Sarah said politely. “Is there something we can do for you?”

            Chuck hesitated, and Sam’s stomach sank. Something was wrong.

            “It has been a thousand years since my return,” Chuck said.

            For a moment, Sam couldn’t think of the significance of that number. Then he remembered back a thousand years, back to the day he was healed.

            “Was your prediction right?” he asked.

            Chuck nodded, face grave. “They have repented.”

            “Who are you—oh.” Sarah’s face hardened. “Well, who cares if they have?”

            “Sarah—”

            “Don’t _Sarah_ me, Sam!”

            “Sweetheart, let’s just listen for a moment,” Sam said, taking her hand.

            Sarah gritted her teeth, but nodded.

            “I went to the Cage today, and both Michael and Lucifer have repented,” Chuck explained. “I have heard their apologies, both to myself and to each other.”

            “Did you apologize to them?” Sam asked. “For putting them at each other’s throats?”

            Chuck winced. “I did. We had a long talk. And they would like to speak to you and offer their apologies.”

            “Are you sure?” Sarah snapped. “Are you positive they even mean it?”

            “Yes.” Chuck’s voice brooked no argument. “They have caused a lot of damage to your husband and your brother-in-law. I will not risk their peace.”

            “Do I have to forgive them?” Sam asked.

            “No. It’s your choice to listen to them at all,” Chuck replied. “Either way they will return to Heaven, but Heaven is much bigger than you may think. You will never see them again if that is your wish.”

            Sam looked at Sarah. “What do you think, honey?”

            Sarah’s eyes were worried. “I think you should do what you want, but I’m worried this might not be good for you.”

            Sam thought about it. He could say no. He could refuse them, but he had questions, still wondered about some things.

            “I’ll talk to Lucifer,” he decided. “I don’t want—I don’t need to talk to Michael. He’s got other people to apologize to more than me.”

            “He has several apologies to make,” Chuck agreed, his face hardening. “I will get Lucifer, Sam.” He nodded to Sarah, and left.

            Sam kissed Sarah. “I want to talk to him alone, okay? Why don’t you go to Jess? I’ll join you later.”

            Sarah kissed him back, clutching at him, and Sam clung back, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. He had nine hundred years standing between him and those memories, but suddenly it was like those one hundred and twenty years were the only ones that mattered.

            He let Sarah go, and took a deep breath. “Go on, sweetheart.”

            Sarah nodded. “I love you, Sam. I’m proud of you.”

            Sam managed a smile as she went out the door.

            Then it hit him. _Adam._

He dialled Adam’s number. Adam picked up on the first ring.

            “He talked to you too, did he?”

            “Yes.” Sam was a bit surprised. “How…what are you going to do?”

            Adam didn’t answer for a moment. When he did, his voice was a bit shaky. “I’m going to talk to Michael,” he said eventually. “I want answers from him. I don’t need answers from Lucifer.”

            “I’m talking to Lucifer,” Sam said. “Adam…do you want to come here?”

            “I don’t think so.” His brother’s voice, so confident for most of their life together, was now trembling. “I think that might be worse. Can I come over after though?”

            “Of course,” Sam said immediately. Sarah and Jess would understand. “Just…maybe wait for me to text?”

            “Sure. Bye Sam.”

            Adam hung up. Now the room was silent again. Sam fought the urge to pace, to tap the chair, to do anything that showed how nervous he really was.

            He could still say no, still change his mind, but the questions that had been nagging at him for a thousand years would never be answered if he changed his mind. It was the last part of the Cage that wouldn’t leave him alone.

            There was a knock, a hesitant knock at the door.

            Sam took a deep breath and opened it.

* * *

 

            Adam stood on the porch of his and Kevin’s house, the home they’d bought when they got married. Kevin had offered to stay, but Adam had refused. He didn’t want to let his husband stand before his old tormentor.

He stood with his arms folded and stared at the archangel, marvelling that it didn’t make his eyes hurt.

            Michael had taken human form, a dark haired man with intense eyes. He was shorter than Adam, but Adam still felt small. _No_ , he told himself sternly. _You are not small._

“Adam Milligan.”

            “It’s Adam Tran,” Adam corrected him. “Michael.”

            “Of course.” Michael inclined his head. “Is this your home?”

            “Yes. What do you want, Michael?”

            “I was wrong.”

            It took a moment for Adam to find his voice. “What do you mean?”

            “When I lost Lucifer, I also lost my father. Then I lost Gabriel. Clearly something had gone wrong with the great plan for Heaven. I believed it was my responsibility to fix it, and I did as efficiently as possible.”

            “By torturing people.” Cas’ scars were the last to fade, about two hundred years before. “By killing those you couldn’t control.”

            “I did. I saw a flaw in the angel’s coding, and I had to fix it. That is why I entrusted Naomi with the reprogramming efforts; she did not have the same flaw. And I noticed that it worked with many; the flaws stopped.”

            “I am sorry, Adam Tran. I was wrong.”

            Adam blinked. “What do you mean?”

            “I was wrong to think that my father wanted the Apocalypse. I was wrong in thinking that I had to force angels not to change, to develop,  I was wrong to hate humanity when I noticed the same flaw in them. And I was wrong, Adam Tran, for punishing you.”

            “Because I tried to save Sam.” That day, so long ago in Stull cemetery, in a moment of clear control he’d tried to pull Sam back, but the pull of the Cage had yanked him in instead.

            “Not only that. You were born to be my vessel, Adam Tran. You were born to serve, and that was what was supposed to happen. And you didn’t.”

            “I didn’t agree with you.”

            “I understand this now. And truly, that has been my problem all along.” Michael looked away. “I have always believed that I am supposed to be obeyed. I was the First. The one he got right, and the rest were flawed copies.”

            “That is incredibly fucking arrogant.”

            Michael actually smiled. “I am aware.” He sighed. “You know, once I cared for more than my brother and father. I cared for the younglings, I cared for the world. But I stopped caring when they stopped listening, and I did what I wanted, willing to ignore their suffering if it brought me peace.”

            “And did it?” Adam asked.

            Michael shook his head. “No. No, it did not. None of it ever did.”

            Adam looked away. “What will you do now?”

            “I do not know,” Michael admitted. “I have submitted to the judgement of my father. He will give me work, and I will do it. I am eager to relearn how to care. It has been a long time. You and your family have learned that lesson in far less time.”

            “I never stopped trying,’ Adam said. He thought for a moment, trying to decide how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I hope you remember how to care. Just…remember that it’s going to hurt like a bitch to care. And that there will be people who won’t care about you anymore, after what you have done.”

            Michael flinched, and Adam took a brief, savage satisfaction in that. “I know,” he replied quietly. “Believe me, I know. Farewell, Adam Tran.”

            And because he’d been a doctor, and he hated to hurt people without giving a good reason, and because after over a thousand years of existing Adam had a better idea of what eternity felt like, Adam blurted out, “good luck.”

            Michael stared at him. “Your species will surprise me forever.” He vanished.

            Adam collapsed against the house, breathing heavily. He pressed his hands to his face, trying to get himself under control.

            He hadn’t forgiven Michael. That wasn’t going to happen. But somehow he’d gone from hating him to feeling overwhelmingly sorry for him.

            Whatever Michael had done to him, he was going to do a thousand times over to himself.

* * *

 

            For a second, Sam thought it was Nick Starr[1] himself at the door; they’d found each other about five hundred years before. It helped, sometimes, to sit in silence with the only other person who’d been possessed by the Devil.

            But no, this wasn’t Nick. Nick slouched a bit when he walked and usually had his hands in his pockets. Lucifer, on the other hand, stood straight and proud, arms to his sides.

            He looked less proud now, somehow.

            Sam swallowed hard. “Lucifer.”

            “Sam.” His voice was different too. There was no sneer in it, no coldness. It sounded…empty. “What do you want of me?”

            “Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”

            Lucifer shrugged, stepping into the room. “I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t need something from me; Dad’s made that pretty clear.”

            Sam frowned. “He said you wanted to talk to me.”

            “I wanted to give you a chance to ask questions. I don’t really need to hear anything from you.” There was a flash of his old attitude, and Sam gritted his teeth, forcing himself not to take a step back.

            Lucifer noticed, and dropped his stance. “I’m not going to hurt you, Sam.” He looked weary all of a sudden, and Sam could see the weight of a thousand years in the Cage. “If you want me gone, I will leave.”

            Sam cleared his throat. “I do…I have some questions.”

            Lucifer inclined his head. “Fire away.”

            “Did you ever care?”

            Lucifer’s eyes widened. “I’ve got to say, I did not expect you to lead with that one.”

            “I’ve been around for over a thousand years,” Sam replied, “and I’ve learned the difference between pain inflicted out of hate…and pain inflicted by hate that was once something else. Something closer to love. And what you did to me felt more like the second.”

            Lucifer nodded slowly. “You’re smarter than I remember.” He paused for a minute. “Sam, I was in that Cage for millennia in Earth time. In Hell time…well, I’m older than anyone but my Father himself right now. Much older than Michael. And all that time, I could hear Hell growing around me, hear the sounds of the preparations for the Apocalypse. Sometimes I could hear the demons praying to me, telling me about the world they hated so much. It oozed hatred and malice, and I let myself drown in it. After all, this was what I was supposed to be.”

            “And was that right?” Sam asked before he could stop himself. It was his second question, one he’d been too afraid to ask Chuck. “Did your Father—”

            “Want me to be the Devil? Oh yeah. Daddy wanted me to be the ruler of Hell, the punisher of the wicked. The world needed one, after all.” Lucifer sighed. “It was supposed to be a job that I accepted, not a punishment, but…well, I ruined that. But to get back to your question—those were long, dark days and nights. I was alone. The only thing I could think of—the only _person_ I could think of without it hurting—was you. Only you. I didn’t know your name then, didn’t know anything about you. Only that you were going to be a human who was as out of place as me, and we would rule the world together. So yes, there was a time that I cared.”

            “And there’s something else.” Lucifer looked him straight in the eye. “I would have brought your family back. All of them. I would have put you in a dream world where you thought you were safe and whole and happy, and let you go on.”

            “I wouldn’t have wanted that.”

            “I know. I didn’t care. And that’s the real answer to your question. By the time I knew who you were—who Sam Winchester was—I realized I didn’t really care about you as a person. You were my Vessel, and that was all that mattered. You would choose me, and we would feel complete together…but I didn’t care what your name was. I didn’t care about your brother, or your family, or your dreams. I’m guessing you could tell.”

            “Yes.”

            “Well. There’s your answer. I cared about you as the role you would play. I never really liked you.” Lucifer crossed his arms. “So that’s two questions. Do you have any others?”

            Sam bit his lip. He did, but he wasn’t totally sure he wanted to hear the answer. Throwing caution to the wind, he asked anyways.

            “Would you have ever stopped hurting me?”

            Lucifer uncrossed his arms. “Well. That’s the same question my Father asked me, though I guess yours is in a different context.”

            “Answer the question.”

             “I would have stopped eventually. Not sure when; remember, my scale of time is very different than yours, different than most angels. Heaven isn’t as old as me. But I would have stopped, and do you want to know the honest reason?”

            Sam nodded.

            “I would have gotten bored,” Lucifer said simply. “When you threw us back into that Cage—when I realized that I had to go back—I decided to just do whatever the fuck I wanted. If that meant hurting you, or fighting Michael, or counting all the panels in the Cage—there are fifty million and seven, by the way—I was going to do it.”

            “And what do you want to do now?”

            Lucifer sighed. “I have absolutely no idea. I wanted to stop being angry: you see the result before you. It took a long time—”

            “A thousand years exactly.”

            “Really? I would have thought longer.” Lucifer considered that for a moment. “But there isn’t really anything I want to do. For the first time I can remember, I have no axe to grind.”

            Sam didn’t really want to think about the consequences of a bored Lucifer.   

            “Sam.” The archangel’s eyes were intense. “I won’t be hurting anyone. That I can promise. And you will never see me again, if you don’t want to.”

            “I don’t.” It was easy.

            “Good. Neither do I. Father explained that you were made to challenge me; I am too tired for challenges now.” The archangel did look exhausted. “I have amends to make in Heaven, and then I think I will try to sleep. Perhaps when I wake I can find a task that will give me some purpose.”

            Sam hesitated, then reached out his hand. Lucifer stared at him, but he took it.

            “Good luck,” Sam said, and he was astonished to realize he meant it. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

            Lucifer shook his head and gripped Sam’s hand for a second before letting it go. “You’re never what I expect, Sam Winchester.” And he vanished.

            Sam waited a few seconds to make sure he was really gone before texting Adam.

_Done._

His brother’s response came almost immediately. _Me too._

_Come over._

            Adam burst through the door a few seconds later. Sam grabbed hold of him, enfolded him in trembling arms.

            “Did you—” Adam was shaking.

            “It’s okay,” Sam whispered. “Ad, don’t try to talk.”

            Adam shook his head. “Sam, did you forgive him?”

            “No.” He still couldn’t, even after all this time.

            “Good. Me neither.”

            “I don’t think they deserve it yet. Maybe they never will.”

            “Yeah.” Adam shuddered. “I thought I forgot what he felt like. I remembered.”

            “We’ll forget some day,” Sam promised him. “And it’s over now, isn’t it? We’ve said our piece, no matter what.”

            Adam nodded against his chest. They stood together, trembling in the soft light.

            “I should go back and see Kevin.”

            “I need to go too, Sarah and Jess are waiting for me.” Sam drew back, ready to stay put if Adam needed him. But Adam stepped away himself and gave Sam a smile. It was a small smile, but it was enough. His brother was okay.

            _Maybe I’m okay too._

 “See you soon, Sam. Maybe we could have a family gathering tomorrow?”

            “Sounds good to me.”

            Adam clapped his hands and vanished. Sam took a deep breath and clapped too.

            He landed in Jess’ kitchen. She and Sarah were standing at the counter, talking quietly. When they saw him, they stopped talking.

            Sam started to explain—he wanted to tell them, wanted to hear what they thought—but his throat was suddenly so tight he could barely breathe.

            He didn’t even need to breathe.

            Sarah came forward and took his hands. She led him into Jess’ bedroom, where the bed was big enough for three, even their three. Jess was just behind them.

            Sam laid down, suddenly exhausted, and Sarah curled up behind him, putting her arms around him. Jess set a plate of cookies on the night table and cuddled into his chest, sighing as he held her close.

            “I—I can’t talk right now,” Sam whispered.

            “It’s okay, baby.” Jess kissed him. “We’re right here when you’re ready.”

            “I’m so lucky,” Sam managed, his voice cracking as he kissed Jess’ forehead, took Sarah’s hand. “So lucky.”

            “So are we,” Sarah replied. “We all get to love each other.”

            Sam kissed her hand hard, just over her wedding ring, and closed his eyes. He knew that his girls would let him sleep.

            And the archangels? Well, the oldest was lonely that night, hidden from the sight of their siblings and listened to the talk about them being back, wincing as he remembered the deeds that caused the hate in their voices. His brother fared no better; he stalked about Heaven, feeling no connection to the place which had once been his home. Their father watched them. It hurt to watch his children suffer, but his heart felt lighter than it had in thousands of years. The process had begun, and he could see that they would find their places again.  

The next day Sam woke up, and the three had cookies and talked quietly and spent the morning making love before they got up. Sam braided Jess’ hair and rubbed Sarah’s feet and the three of them set off for the gathering at Dean and Cas’ Heaven, where they hung out with the rest of their family. Adam was quiet with Kevin and their daughter, but his smile was stronger and Sam could talk without trouble now and they would be fine, and they would be happy each day, and that happiness would one day give them the strength to truly forgive, and rejoice in that forgiveness.

But not that day.  

 

[1] I couldn’t help myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that thing I said about rarepairs? Yeah...look, this way everyone wins.   
> I hope this chapter worked for everyone; I found it difficult to balance the different emotions in these scenes. There's a lot of history there, after all. And I stand by the right of forgiveness being weighted towards the victim; an apology can be made, and they're important, but forgiveness doesn't have to happen right away. It just starts there.   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


	4. Profoundly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lead up to a wedding isn't always peaceful, but people come together in the end.

            Sam grimaced as he heard another dish hit the kitchen wall. “You’d think with two grooms we’d avoid the wedding crazies.”

            “It’s your idjit brother,” Bobby grumbled, turning the page of an old ledger. “He can’t shut up to save his damn life.”

            Dean and Cas’ wedding was in a week, and it was turning into an enormous headache for anyone within three hundred miles of the Bunker. It wasn’t the guest list, it wasn’t the food, it wasn’t even the damn venue.

            It was the grooms themselves.

            Since returning from Hell, Sam had witnessed Dean and Cas arguing only a handful of times. They were quick and intense, years of a profound bond soothing the worst of the anger. But ever since Jody and Donna’s wedding six months ago, ever since Hannah asked innocently when they would get married…

            “What are we up to?” Sarah asked.

            “Seventy four arguments,” Sam reported. “Since the start of July.”

            Sarah groaned and hit her head off the desk.

            He heard Cas’ raised voice now. Great. That meant a longer argument. Sam dearly wished that either Ben or Gabriel were here—they could knock sense into the couple better than anyone—but both were away from the Bunker.

            Bobby glared at Sam. “It’s your turn.”

            “It is not, it’s Charlie’s!”

            “She and Anna are in Moondor,” Sarah reminded him. “Come on, Sam. I’ve got to finish the playlist anyways.”

            Sam knew there was no point protesting. He got up and went down the hall towards the kitchen. His brothers’ voices were lower now, but no less intense. Hoping he wasn’t going to have to pull them apart (again), Sam froze in his tracks when their voices rose again.

            “I swear, Cas, it feels like you don’t want to get married at all!”

            “Don’t be ridiculous, Dean, of course I do!”

            “Then why do you keep picking at me?! Everything I suggest you shoot down!”

            “You aren’t asking for enough!”

            “What the fuck does that MEAN?!” Another crash. “I’m asking for what I want, Cas. It’s one fucking day of our lives, it doesn’t have to be perfect!”

            “Nothing in your life has ever been perfect!”

            The silence was louder than the crashes.

            “What do you mean?” Dean’s voice was terribly quiet.

            “You’ve been dragged around your entire life,” Cas replied. “You’ve rarely had an opportunity to make choices, and they haven’t been good ones. I want to make sure you can choose whatever you want, Dean.”

            “I am choosing what I want, Cas,” Dean said. His voice was much gentler now. “I love all of the ideas we’ve come up with, and the ones I picked out are the ones I think are the best. It’s not the French Riviera, but it’s what I know. It’s what I want. I don’t want our wedding to be something completely out of my experience. It’s about us, about our life, our family…” There was another pause. “But that’s not really what you’re worried about, is it baby? You think I might not have chosen right when I picked you.”

            “The thought had crossed my mind.” Cas’ voice was thready.

            Sam risked stepping closer, close enough that he could see the kitchen. Dean and Cas were standing amid a bunch of shattered glass and china, and Cas had his head bowed.

            “You are the Righteous Man,” Cas said. “You were made by Heaven itself to fight Hell, and you defied them both. You are better than anyone dreamed you would be. You could have anyone.”

            “I want you.” Dean stepped forward and took Cas’ face in his hands. “Castiel, I want you. You are the Saviour of the Righteous Man. You were built to love God, and you chose to love me…to love me too. I _love you,_ Cas. You’re perfect as far as I’m concerned. And if anyone thinks different—that might actually be a good thing. I get you all to myself.”

            Cas laughed, but it was more of a sob, and Sam realized it was time to leave. He retreated to give them some privacy, but not before he saw Dean enfold Cas in his arms.

            There were no more arguments that day, or the next five days. Which was good, because Charlie’s dress went missing, Kevin came down with the flu and they found out about a shifter in Topeka, running around in the guise of the dead (they’d been grave digging).

            But by the day before the wedding, the shifter had been taken out by Samandriel, Kevin was healed after he actually admitted he was sick, and Charlie’s dress had been rescued from the trunk of the Impala. A vigorous washing got the smell of gunpowder out.

            Most of the wedding guests were already there. Every ‘claimed’ bedroom was full, people chattering with excitement and finding “my damn pantyhose!” “You don’t need that shit!” “It’s the pair Gabriel made that doesn’t rip!” “…I’ll help you look.”

            Dean and Cas sat in the middle of the chaos, told sternly not to help at all. Ben stood guard proudly, arms folded. He was taking his best man job seriously.

            (Not all the arguments in the last six months had been between the grooms-to-be).

            At last the kerfuffle died down, and the bachelor party began.

            Cas had vehemently protested against this idea, and even Dean didn’t see the need. “I don’t want to be hungover on our wedding day, and besides, I am not taking my kid to a strip club.”

            “Indeed not,” Cas agreed. “I don’t want you dead on our wedding day.”

            With Ben as best man, however, Dean agreed to try a party, so long as Ben planned it. Ben had enlisted the groomsmen and groomsgals to help plan bits and pieces, but the twelve-year-old had kept most of the details close to his chest. Only Gabriel seemed to know the whole story, but he’d barely been in the Bunker in the last month.

            Which Sam thought, given the chaos, was really a smart thing.

            The first part of the party was a buffet. Everyone got their favourite foods, and they ate picnic style in the main room, curled up on cushions and bean bag chairs Gabriel had snapped up. Sam stole a few of Sarah’s grapes—to make up for it, he fed her the last of his strawberries. Dean and Cas were arguing playfully over which burgers were best, and the conversation rose and fell as everyone digested.

            Then there was pie. Lots of different kinds, and Benny beamed with pride as everyone ate up. “Told you it was better than that magic food, Tricky,” he drawled.

            Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Listen, Ex-Fangs, you just got your sweet tooth back. Give it some time to adjust.”

            Benny rolled his eyes and bared his completely normal teeth. “Sure thing, sugar.”      

            Once the last bites had been scraped off the plates, Gabriel clapped his hands. “Alright, listen up everyone.” He turned to Ben. “Want to explain your idea for entertainment tonight, kiddo?”

            Ben shuffled nervously. “Okay.” At Gabriel’s encouraging nod, he dashed out of the room.

            “What’s he doing?” Dean asked.

            “Patience, Dean-o. All will be revealed.”

            Ben returned with a wrapped package and a strange looking video camera. It looked like a camera from the eighties had a baby with a telescope.

            “What’s that, son?” Dean raised his eyebrows as Ben sat down in front of him and Cas.

            “Well, I thought it would be nice to talk about memories from when you were younger—not just with each other, but with other people in our family. And that’s easier when you’ve got some visual aids, so…”

            Dean opened the package carefully. It was a photo album.

            “What—we didn’t—we don’t have all that many pictures, buddy.” Dean said gently. “You don’t need this big a—” He opened the album and fell silent.

            “Dean?” Sam asked. He scooted so he could see the pages, and his jaw dropped.

            Every page was _crowded_ with pictures of him and Dean, and Bobby, and Ellen and Jo and Cas and Ash…Sam spotted pictures in college, and pictures with Pastor Jim, pictures with random hunters and survivors…

            “Ben suggested this and I thought it was a great idea,” Gabriel explained. “I went back and took all the pictures that were ever taken of the two of you and anyone you call family and stuck ‘em in. I’m working on the rest of you, but I thought the newlyweds would go first.”

            Dean leaned over and hugged Gabriel and Ben tightly. He was shaking. “You have no idea how much this means,” he said, voice thick.

            “It was no trouble,” Gabriel assured him. “Just promise me you’ll keep taking pictures. That album’s not going to fill itself!”

            Dean laughed. “Promise.” He picked up the strange camera. “Is that what this is for? I’ve never seen one like this.”

            “Nope.” Gabriel snapped, and suddenly everyone had popcorn and candy on their laps and they were all facing a screen hovering just in front of the staircase. “That is a memory projector, patent pending. Kali helped me make it.”

            “A memory projector?”

            Gabriel snapped again, and the camera flew out of Dean’s hands to hover just behind them. “Ben asked me about home movies. I know you guys didn’t make too many, so I made some.”

            Sam blinked. “How?”

            “Short version is I followed you around in the past whenever you did something mildly interesting and ‘filmed’ it. I’ve got some memories of Cas from when he was a fledgling too.”

            Both Cas and Dean’s eyes were wide.

            “And don’t you worry, Cassie,” Gabriel added. “Bal and Anna gave me some more…recent ones.”

            Cas groaned. Dean took his hand. “Come on babe, it’ll be fun. It’s a great idea, Ben. And thanks for your help, Gabriel.”

            “Like I said, it was nothing. Now let’s get this film festival going.” Gabriel paused for effect. “I call it ‘The Profound Bond’.”

            “ _Balthazar!”_ Cas tried to launch himself at his brother. “You weren’t supposed to repeat that!”

            But it wasn’t nothing, Sam realized as a clip of him and Dean as small children started to play. Time travelling was difficult for angels, even archangels; and now a tiny version of Cas popped up too. Gabriel had somehow managed to convert his own memories of his fledgling’s true forms to tiny children who looked like their current vessels. And he’d done it all in time for a wedding, refusing to take credit for the immense amount of effort.

            And Sam watched Cas lean his head on Gabriel’s shoulder for a minute, and Dean smile over Cas’ head, and knew that the to-be-weds knew it too.

            It was late when they stopped watching videos (the one where Sam was chased by a goose at a petting zoo, forcing Dean to rescue him by dragging him on top of the Impala’s hood got an annoying amount of laughs), and Sam carried a sleeping Sarah to their room. He crawled in next to her and cradled her in his arms, and for a moment dared to dream of maybe someday…maybe someday they would have a wedding eve. They weren’t ready for that yet—he wasn’t ready for that yet—but for the first time the idea seemed possible. A future with her.

            And with that thought, Sam fell asleep.

* * *

 

            He woke to a gentle touch to his shoulder. Confused, he looked up and gasped, yanking Sarah closer.

            His mother stood over him. “Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

            Sam shifted as Sarah stirred. “No problem,” he whispered. “Are you all here?”

            Mary nodded. “We came as soon as we could. We thought you could all use a hand first thing in the morning.”

            Sarah was awake now. “Hi Mary,” she said sleepily. “We’ll be up in a minute.”

            “What about Dean?” Sam asked.

            “JO GET OUT WHAT THE FUCK?!”

            The outraged shout rang through the Bunker.

            “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUR GROOM, EITHER!”

            “FUCK THAT!”

            “Who thought Jo was a good idea?” Sam muttered. Sarah giggled.

            Mary’s eyes danced. “No one.”

            And with that, Destiel’s wedding day began properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may have lost all chill when it comes to wedding planning...to the point where I didn't even get to the wedding in a chapter. Ah well.   
> Next chapter will be the wedding proper, should be up Sunday, or Monday at the absolute latest.   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


	5. Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the wedding itself.

            Dean had wanted to get married in the afternoon and somewhere big enough for all their guests. Cas had agreed, but requested that he get to choose the place. Looking around at the water, Dean was glad he’d said yes.

            He was standing on the same dock from his dreams, the first dream he’d shared with Cas, a half-forgotten memory of a fishing trip with Bobby when he and Sam were small. They’d built out the end, just enough for eight people to stand side by side.  Peaceful and quiet, the lake lapped gently against the shore, where the rest of their family was waiting. The dead and the living stood together in a picture Dean wanted to hang onto forever.

            If only Cas would get here.

            Ben, Sam and Adam were standing with him. Gabriel, Balthazar and Samandriel were on the other side. The groomgals stood along the pier itself, all dressed in light blue—the only colour that actually worked with everyone’s hair. Right now the girlfriends were holding hands across the line. But soon—it would be soon, it had to be soon—Cas would walk up and they would stand together and get married.

            And then he was there, and every last bit of fear went out of Dean’s body.

            That wasn’t the only thing making him go weak in the knees. He and Cas had given in to one of Gabriel’s offers, and accepted the suits he made for them. Cas’ was mostly black, but it managed to capture the subtle blues and greens present in the wings only Dean could see. It brought out the blue in his eyes, and he was smiling in the tender way he usually saved for when they were alone.

            It took Dean a moment to realize that Chuck was standing next to Cas in a simple suit. The two of them walked towards Dean, and the gals took their hands away. Charlie and Meg both high-fived Cas.

            Cas took Dean’s hands in his, his lips trembling. Dean could feel the tears in his eyes, but he wasn’t going to let of Cas’ hands. If he had his way, he would never let go of Cas’ hands again.

            Chuck smiled at them both. “It is my great pleasure to welcome all of you here today to celebrate the bonding of Dean Winchester and my son Cas in matrimony.”

            Cas squeezed Dean’s hands.

            “The story I wrote so long ago for the two of you has changed greatly,” Chuck continued. “And it changed because the two of you decided to fight for each other; to save the world because you believed in one other; to live because you loved one another.”

            Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’.

            “You know, human authors have figured out that sometimes characters are good enough that they deserve a second draft.” Chuck’s eyes were bright. “You are two of my best, and I am so thrilled you found your way to this story, this one where you get to be in love, because it’s everything you deserve.”

            “Thank you, Father,” Cas whispered. Dean was unable to speak.

            Chuck clapped his hands. “Well, let’s get to the important part, shall we? Ben, have you got the rings?”

            Bens eyes went wide. “What rings?”

            “Ben!’ Sam chastised.

            Ben laughed and handed over the rings. “Come on, how many times do I get to make that joke?”

            The rings were simple—silver bands with one sapphire and one emerald in each. Dean slipped Cas’ on and willed his hand to stop shaking as Cas did the same for him.

            “These rings are a symbol of the love which you share, a physical manifestation of your bond. Castiel, do you swear to honour that love in word and deed, to stand by this man in times of hardship, to find joy with him in good times, and to remind him every day that he is yours and you are his?”

            “I do,” Cas promised, his hands in Dean’s again.

            “Dean, do swear to honour your bond each day in word and deed, to be the first to offer comfort and protection, to be the last to step away, to remind Cas of his worth and place in your heart each day?”

            “I do.” There was no doubt now. It was strange to think there ever was.

            “Then in my Name, I pronounce you bound to each other, as husbands and mates in soul and Grace, so long as you both shall be.”

            Dean shivered as he felt a wave of power sweep between him and Cas. Cas clearly felt it too, and he drew Dean against him, their foreheads together.

            “You can go ahead and kiss now,” Chuck said, and despite the solemn tone he was smiling.

            Cas kissed Dean so intensely he could hardly stay on his feet, swaying as he kissed Cas back with everything he had. There was something new, sparkling from every point of contact with Cas—a warm, comforting touch that wasn’t physical but was still powerfully real.

            As they finally pulled apart, Dean was shocked to hear singing. He glanced around as best he could, but no one on the dock or shore was singing.

            “Dearest, look up.”

            Dean obeyed and his jaw dropped. The clouds were shining in the sky, almost as bright as the sun. That was where the singing was coming from; angelic voices from Heaven.

            “The Host approves this match,” Chuck said. He raised his hands. “It is done.”

            The power between them swelled, and Dean wrapped Cas in a hug, holding him as close as he could. He would never forget this moment, not if he lived a hundred thousand years. For the first time in his life, he realized that this was okay; that he was okay. He had done what he was meant to do.

            “Destiel’s super-canon!” Charlie shrieked.

            That broke the spell, and everyone surged forward to congratulate them. Balthazar fell (or was possibly shoved) into the water, and Ben leaped onto Dean’s back and nearly knocked him down, and Anna was definitely shoved in the water by her girlfriend.

            Cas picked him up and they returned to the beach.  His mom and Bobby were the first ones to get to them. Dean couldn’t speak, could only take his mother’s hands and smile. Cas put him down, and Bobby gave him a tight hug that wouldn’t let him speak anyways. “Proud of my boys,” he whispered as he dragged Cas close too. “So damn proud.”

            The night went by in a happy blur, but there were a few memories that Dean held onto in a stunning amount of detail.

One, Cas cried when the cake was brought out. Everyone had put some work into it (Sam promised his only job was consulting on flavours) and the result was a towering marble cake with blue and green icing with _Congratulations Dean and Cas Winchester_ written on it.

            Two, Ben’s best man speech was short and sweet. “I’m really glad my dad’s in love, and that I have another dad now. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have three parents who all love me…even if none of you let me watch Predator.”

            “You’re still not watching it, Ben!” Cas responded.

            Ben pouted. “Well, even then…you’re pretty awesome, Cas. I’m glad you make my dad happy, because that’s what’s important, right? Loving people, and making sure they’re happy. Mom and Dad taught me that.”

            Lisa wiped her eyes. So did Dean.

            And the last one, the last one that was crystal clear, was the first dance. Dean had never been much of a dancer, and he’d practiced for months whenever Cas wasn’t around, hoping he could keep up. But when Cas took him in his arms and spun him around to ‘A Thousand Years’ (eat it Twilight, he had an _angel_ for a husband), it didn’t seem to matter anymore.  

            The rest of the dance party got more blurry, but he was pretty sure part of it involved chasing Sam and Adam around the beach because almost every single song had some mentions of angels. It wasn’t until Sarah fell over laughing that he realized his little brother might be falling in love with a sneaky woman with a pretty decent sense of humour (and an _extensive_ knowledge of music, some of it was polka[1]).

            In the years to come they would watch their wedding videos, and see everything clearly, but that night it was a blur. Not because they were drunk—they were both sober. But their bonding had happened on a deeper level, and the happiness from that made some details unimportant.

            And later, when they were alone in the cottage by the beach in California, when they were laid bare to each other and joined more fully than they’d ever felt before…well, then everything became crystal clear, each detail overwhelmingly important, each moment an eternity in love.

 

[1] Yup, there’s a polka song called ‘Twelve Angels Waltz’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed the wedding! And just to be clear, there was some Taylor Swift amongst the 'angel' songs to keep Cas and Dean from becoming suspicious too early on. 'I'd lie' and 'Superman' were the top two Ben picked.   
> There was also some Celine Dion, which Cas requested specifically to annoy Balthazar.   
> Now, the next chapters may take about a week to come out, but I can give you a preview of what's coming up.   
> In the following order: Mary meeting Cas for the first time, Destiel's first child (with a focus on Ben), Sam and Sarah's wedding (I told you I had no chill) and a certain cure happening for an old...well, not friend.   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


	6. Speaking Words of Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angels watched over Mary Winchester. She isn't happy about it. But maybe she can make an exception for this nervous, blue-eyed angel who loves her son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for 'Castiel' (the user not the angel). This is about two weeks after the end of 'A Whiteness'.

            Cas walked nervously up the path. This Heaven was unfamiliar to him, as was the person who inhabited it. But it was very important he speak to her.

            After all, he was going to marry her son.

            The door opened before he could knock, and Mary Winchester stood in front of him. She was wearing a simple blue plaid shirt and jeans, her hair cut short. “Hello, Castiel.” She was smiling, but only with her lips.

            Cas swallowed. Full name. That wasn’t good. “Hello, Mary Winchester.”

            “I’d rather go by Mary, honestly.” Mary stepped aside. “Come on in.”

            Cas resisted the urge to study the walls of what was Dean’s childhood home. He couldn’t help but notice, however, that there were only pictures of Mary with Dean and a few with baby Sam. John Winchester was nowhere to be found.

            “Sit down,” Mary invited him when he reached the living room. Cas did as she said.

            “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Mary.”

            Mary smiled for real that time. “Dean’s in love with you, Cas. I’m looking forward to getting to know you.”

            “Right.” Cas hesitated, then took the plunge. Better to do that with this family. “You don’t seem like you are.”

            Mary was clearly taken aback, but her shoulders relaxed. “Smart, aren’t you?”

            “Is it because I’m an angel?” That was the obvious reason. Mary had been raised by hunters herself, and after her son’s experiences—after her own—it made sense that she would be worried.

            “No,” Mary replied. “It isn’t really you, or what you are. It’s…it’s more to do with me.”

            Cas waited for her to continue. Mary stared at a picture on the end table. It was the first he’d seen that included John Winchester—a much younger one, one that beamed and held his pregnant wife close.

            “How long was it a lie?”

            “I beg your pardon?” But he knew. Knew exactly what she meant.

            “Ellen Harvelle found me not too long before Sam and—and Adam came back.” Mary winced. “She brought me to the Roadhouse and introduced me to everyone. It was wonderful to meet the people my sons grew up with—I was so grateful that they’d built a bigger family. Then…well. Then I found out that their father hadn’t really been part of that family.”

            It was Cas’ turn to wince. For a mother to learn that her children had been neglected by their father after her death…

            “I’m sorry.”

            “You didn’t have anything to do with it.” Mary’s eyes narrowed. “Or did you? Were you one of the angels who got John and I together?”

            Cas shook his head frantically. “No. That was Michael and a Cupid. I am not sure which one, but they would only have been following orders.”

            “Following orders,” Mary repeated. “I tried so hard to get away from a life where that was all I did. Either follow or not, it was _always_ orders. Never suggestions, never a choice. And then it turns out that the way out I chose was on someone else’s _orders_.”

            The bitter pain in her voice was so raw Cas shivered.

            “I know Cupids bring people together and they’re happy. Even on orders. So maybe…maybe I could live with that. Maybe John and I would have been happy. But I made that deal, and I died. Was that on orders?”

            Cas closed his eyes. “Not on Heaven’s. Hell’s forces worked towards a similar goal, and that was the method they chose for getting Sam—for getting him ready. But when we knew it was happening, we could not interfere.”

            Mary clenched her fists. “Couldn’t someone interfere with John abusing our children in my name?”

            “No.” It hurt to say, it hurt to know. “No, no one was willing.”

            “And that’s the hardest part,” Mary murmured. “Falling in love with John wasn’t my idea. I remember thinking he was a complete idiot when we first met, and now that I’m dead I can remember when that changed, at that movie theatre. He used to be here, you know? While Heaven was still a memory rerun, and then one day I looked up and realized that I didn’t love him. I never had. Then he vanished.”

            “But my children—my children were _mine._ I chose to have them, I loved them for _them_ , and no power in Heaven or Hell could have influenced that. But I made a choice for John, and that choice made them suffer for years.”

            “People aren’t answering my questions at the Roadhouse. Ellen answered some at first, and her husband, but they saw how much it was bothering me, and I know I won’t know everything. How am I supposed to live with what I don’t know, Castiel? How am I supposed to live with what I _do?_ I left my sons. I didn’t protect them.”

            Cas didn’t know how to respond for a minute. He twined his fingers together, staring at his engagement ring.

            The ring that once belonged to the woman who sat across from him.

            “Dean loves Led Zeppelin.”

            Mary looked up.

            “He listens to all the cassettes you made, even before he knew it was you who made them. You were the one who taught John to like rock music. He fights for others first, he likes soft cloth and Kurt Vonnegut and eats bacon cold.  Sam loves to learn. He considers sacrifice an honour, he looks for the best way to solve a problem, not the easiest. He loves gently and as strong as he can.”

            Mary’s eyes filled with tears.

            “Your sons hold your memory sacred,” Cas continued. “They met you when you were younger and made their peace with the deal. They consider themselves lucky to be your children, even if that means acknowledging their paternity. They are Mary’s sons, and that’s why they keep their name Winchester. Because you changed yours.”

            “I thought—I thought it was symbolic.” Mary wiped her eyes. “Like it would separate me from hunting.”

            “It didn’t. But it gave you them. And it gave them you.”

            Mary reached out and took his hand. “Thank you,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry I was so rude. I wasn’t looking forward to meeting you, Cas, because I knew I could finally get these questions answered, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. But now…maybe now I can find some peace.”

            “And you can talk to your sons,” Cas added.

            Mary smiled. “I know, and that’s wonderful. Right now, though, I want to hear about you. How did you and Dean meet?”  

            They talked for hours, until Cas had answered all of Mary’s questions, until they were both laughing over pie. Finally, Cas stood regretfully. “I have to go; Dean and Ben will be home soon, and we have movie plans tonight.”

            Mary stood and gave him a tight hug. “Thank you, Cas. You’re a good angel. If you hurt my son, you will never see the light of day again.”

            “I would expect nothing else,” Cas said with a smile. He hesitated at the door. “My Father is beginning some new places in Heaven. One of them is for children, who died and have no family here. They have few memories to build a Heaven, and they must stay there. Would you be willing to help them?”

            Mary smiled with her whole body. He'd only ever seen Dean do that. “I would love to do that. And Cas? I’m looking forward to the wedding.”

            “So am I,” Cas replied. “I will see you soon, Mary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that this story was a bit late, I hope to upload a couple of smaller stories later this week to make up for it!   
> Cheers,  
> Acme


	7. Hey Sister (for Hannah_ruth_990)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiel's having a baby! (No mpreg, promise) Ben wants to be happy. He really, really does.

            When Dad called him in to the library, Ben was sure he was in trouble.

            It wouldn’t be because of his not-so-great math test—Dad understood about that. But if Balthazar had told him about the books he was reading, and the nightmares he was having because of them…

            But Dad was smiling and holding hands with Cas, so it couldn’t be that bad.

            “Hey buddy.” Dad gestured for Ben to come over, and he sat next to Dad. “We’ve got some exciting news.”

            “What’s up?” Ben asked.

            Dad squeezed Cas’ hand. “We’re having a baby.”

            Ben stared at them. “Can angels—”

            “No!” Cas said quickly. “At least, not in male bodies. Neither of us our pregnant, Ben.”

            “Oh, you’re adopting?”

            “Not exactly,” Dad explained. “Your Uncle Gabriel’s been very kind and agreed to help create a child for us, one that has parts of Cas and parts of me. It’s a soul that…”

            “One that suffered in life,” Cas supplied. “They requested a second chance.”

            “Do you know who it was?” Ben asked, intrigued.

            “No, and we won’t. My Father has made sure of that.”

            “Okay. That’s…that’s cool, I guess.”  

            “Cool? That’s all you got to say about a new brother or sister?” Dad demanded.

            Ben brightened. “They’ll be my brother or sister?”

            “Of course, you’re my kid, aren’t you?”

            “Yeah, but we don’t have the same mom. I guess they’re half, but—”

            “Ben,” Cas interrupted him. “Do you consider your Uncle Adam only your half-uncle? Or any of my siblings less your family?”

            “No.” Ben fidgeted. “I just meant you could call the baby yours, but it doesn’t have to be mine.”

            Dad seemed to understand what he was trying to say, and he tugged him under his arm. “You’ll be a big brother in nine months if you want,” he told Ben gently. “You’ll be this baby’s family. Okay?”

            “Okay.” Ben swallowed hard. “That is awesome. Will you teach me, Dad?”

            Dad pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ll teach you everything I know.”

            The next few months went smoothly. Dad and Cas started planning out how to take care of a baby and help run the Men of Letters at the same time. It was Uncle Sam that told them not to be idiots and take time off so that they could both be there for the baby.

            (When Ben was born, his mom had to put him in daycare after he was three months old. That was as long as she could ask her parents to watch him.)

            Everyone in the Bunker helped make the baby’s room. Cas painted some Enochian symbols over the crib. When Ben asked him what they meant, he explained that it was a lullaby. “Our child is not a Nephilim precisely,” Cas told him, “but this is an important song. I want my child to remember that they come from Heaven.”

            (When Ben was five, he was given a worksheet with ‘Draw Your Family’ on it. He drew a man in a car far away from him and mom. He didn’t even know if his father drove a car. Maybe he drove a motorcycle.)

            Ben started asking Mom if he could stay home on his weekends with Dad. “I have too much homework,” in September. “My friend’s having a birthday party,” in October.

            He never said “I feel like I’m just in the way.” Never mentioned out loud that he felt like everyone was excited about this baby except for him.

            When he did go to the Bunker (and he still wanted to go, because he loved Dad and Cas and the rest of their family), he kept reading the same books he’d started. They were terrifying, and if Aunt Charlie or Uncle Sam or Grampy had noticed what he was reading they would have probably burned the books for being inaccurate and overly horrific. But Ben was in the library by himself a lot of the time, and no one noticed.

            The breaking point came about four months in. Dad and Cas were talking about names for the baby.

            “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Meg asked.

            “Does that matter?”

            “There are names that are considered more ‘boy’ names than ‘girl’ names,” Hannah said wisely.

            Cas hid a smile. “We know, Hani. And of course our child could be born transgender, which we won’t know yet.”

            Gabriel nodded. “I offered to tell them the sex for a starting point, but they said no.”

            “We want it to be a surprise.” Dad looked at a list in front of him. “Why don’t we start with the boy names? I think that might take longer.”

            “Well, your son’s already got my name,” Uncle Adam joked. Ben looked up, his head feeling heavy. “What?” he asked.

            “My middle name’s Benjamin,” Uncle Adam explained.

            “Now you know it was for me, idiot,” Uncle Benny argued. “Makes way more sense that way.”

            Dad groaned. “This joke has never been funny. Literally ever.”

            No, it really wasn’t. Because Dad hadn’t had anything to do with Ben’s name. He didn’t even know it when Ben was born.

            Ben waited for the conversation to shift back to other names and slipped quietly out of the room. He laid down on his bed, trying to calm down.

            _Don’t be jealous_ , he told himself firmly. _They’re not doing it to insult you, or forget you. Don’t be **dumb** …_

He still didn’t feel like going out and joining the rest, even though it was Linda’s turn to do the cooking.

            Ben rolled over on his side. Maybe he’d read more of the scary books…but reaching for them was too tiring, and before he realized it he was asleep.

            He woke with a scream to someone shaking him.

            “Ben! C’mon kiddo, wake up!”

            Ben’s eyes flew open and he looked into his dad’s worried face. The monsters had felt so real…

            “Ben? Buddy, you okay?”

            “Yeah,” Ben said hoarsely, but it wasn’t true, and Dad knew it. He pulled Ben close and for a second Ben let himself lean against him, let Dad rub his back.

            “What’s going on, buddy?” Dad whispered.

            Ben tried to pull away, and Dad let him go after a second. “It’s nothing. I just had a nightmare.”

            “Do you want to talk about it?”

            Normally Ben would want that. He could talk to Dad, and Dad could tell him what parts were possible and which parts weren’t, and promise that he would never let any of it become real anyways because he loved Ben and he was here and would take care of him.

            Ben shook his head. “I’m okay. You need to rest.”

            Dad raised his eyebrows. “It’s ten o’clock, Ben. What do I need to rest for?”

            “The baby.”

            “Ben, the baby’s not coming for months.”

            “Yeah, but you need to start getting used to sleeping when you can,” Ben explained. “You’ll need to sleep well, and focus on you and Cas so your relationship doesn’t fall apart, and I’m fine and I’m old enough to deal with things by myself—”

            “Ben, stop!” Dad took him by his shoulders. “Son, what are you talking about?”

            Ben tried to talk, but he was shaking too badly. Dad hugged him tight again, and this time Ben couldn’t stop himself from crying.

            “Oh Ben,” Dad whispered. He started to rock back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s _okay_ …”

            “It’s not okay,” Ben tried to say, but it came out in a garbled sob.

            Dad kissed the top of his head. “Ben, sweetheart, I didn’t realize you were having so much trouble with this. I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t w-worry about me.”

            “Of course I’m going to worry about you. It’s my job; I’m your _Dad.”_

“You weren’t always.”

            Dad didn’t let go, but he stopped rocking.

            “And I know Mom didn’t tell you,” Ben said quickly. “But with this baby—it feels like you want to be a real dad, and have a real family. And I’m just a reminder that you weren’t. I don’t want to make you feel bad, and I don’t want to be in the way.”

            Dad didn’t say a word at first. He just hugged Ben so tight he could hardly breathe.

            “You are my son,” he promised finally. “My real son, and I love you so much it scares me some times. I never thought I could love someone so completely. I loved you before Cas, you know that? I met you first. And even then, when I didn’t know you were mine, I loved you. I was so proud of you.”

            Ben pressed his face into Dad’s shoulder.

            “I do wish I’d known about you,” Dad continued. “I wish I’d been in a place where your Mom would have trusted me. Where I would have been able to be in your life, and had the emotional maturity to do that. But that didn’t happen, and I’m just grateful that I have gotten to be in your life since. That you love me. That means everything to me, Ben.”

            “And yes, I’m having a baby with Cas. But I’m not doing it because I feel guilty about you. Cas wanted to have a child together because he loves you too, and wanted to have another child. You’re not in the way at all, buddy. And I wish that I could have given you what I will give this baby. But after the kind of life I’ve had…I want to be a good father for all my children. I have different chances with you and the baby, but I will take advantage of every last one, and if that means I go between playing video games with you and bottle feeding Little Bit, I will. Okay?”

            Ben cuddled closer, and Dad pulled him onto his lap. “I love you, Ben,” he repeated. “And I will always love you.”

            “Love you too,” Ben whispered.

            They sat there for a while.

            “Ben, what was your nightmare about?”

            Ben blushed, grateful that there wasn’t much light coming from the hall. “I…it was just a bad dream.”

            “Ben…”

            “I might have been reading some books before bed.”

            Without letting go of Ben, Dad leaned over and switched the light on. The book was sitting on Ben’s night table; he’d forgotten to hide it.

            “Ben!” Dean picked the book up. “Ben, this is one of the Renwick books!”

            “Yeah. I’m sorry!”

            “Ben, these aren’t accurate at all. I thought Sam got rid of them!”

            Ben brightened. “So…so witches can’t put marks on you for werewolves to find you?”

            “No!” Dad shook his head. “Ben, how many have you read?”

            “Maybe…maybe eight or ten?”

            Dad groaned.

            “Am I grounded?”

            “I think you’ve been punished enough,” Dad said, glaring darkly at the book. He switched the light back off, and Ben’s grip tightened around him.

            Dad rubbed his back. “Do you want to come lie down with me and Cas?”

            “I’m twelve, Dad.”

            “I know that.”

            “Um…yes please?”   


            Dad picked him up and Ben clung to him. Cas was reading when they came in, a worried look in his eyes. Once Dad laid Ben down next to him, he passed Ben a plate with a sandwich and two cookies.                  

           “Do you want milk or water?”

           “Milk please,” Ben said, feeling unaccountably shy.

           Cas snapped and passed Ben the conjured glass. Ben ate quietly as Dad lay back, humming softly. When he finished, Cas took the plate from him.

           “Thanks Cas,” he said. Then—“you know you’re my dad too, right?”

           Cas smiled gently, and hugged Ben. “I do,” he promised, “and you are the son of my heart. That will never change.” He switched off the light and lay down.

           Ben lay between his dads. The room was dark, and for a second he felt a stab of fear. What if the books were real…

           Dad put an arm around him. “We’re right here, buddy. Nothing’s gonna hurt you.”

            Ben smiled. “Dad? Cas?”

            “Yes, Ben?”

            “I’m excited for the baby again.”

            “I am delighted,” Cas said. “Perhaps you would do us a favour and choose the name? We can’t settle on one.”

            “Sure!”

            And five months later, when the little baby girl was born, Ben was the third person to hold her, and he named her Mary Jo (he’d thought about Xena, but Cas said no).

            “Hi MJ,” he whispered (apparently nicknames were an important part of being a big brother). “I’m Ben, your big brother. I know you’re awesome already, and I love you. I won’t always be around, but I promise I’ll be there whenever you need me. And I’ll let you watch Predator. But you’re not reading the bad books.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who have read my 'Almost Like A Prophecy' series will recognize this method of baby delivery. That's probably going to be consistent across my SPN work, as is Ruff the dog.   
> Sorry for this being a bit late, I had a crazy weekend. Next chapter will be up Sunday, and it's another WEDDING GET EXCITED I AM EXCITED.   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


	8. This Moment Here With You (for ME1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Sam and Sarah's big day!

            Sam leaned against the door of the gallery, watching Sarah talk to a buyer. The older woman was smiling and nodding, and Sam felt a burst of pride. Sarah didn’t just sell art; she sold stories. She would have tracked down the perfect painting for this lady, taking into account her past, her present, and her interior decorating.

            Sam hid his own painting behind his back. He’d never been good at drawing; stick figures were sometimes beyond him. But he’d worked hard on this one for a couple of months, and he really wanted Sarah’s opinion.

            When the lady brushed past him with her painting, Sarah looked up. “Hi baby. You ready for lunch?”

            “Actually, I’m not hungry.” He really wasn’t, he was so nervous. “Could you take a look at this?” The canvas was wrapped tightly, hiding the finished product of two months worth of broken brushes, empty paint tubes, and late nights staying awake and staring at the blankness, trying to decide if he felt ready to fill it in.

            He was, but was she?

            Sarah took it in surprise. “Who is this from?”

            “Me.” Sam hesitated for a second. “I’ll be downstairs.”

            “Sam?”

            But he was already down the stairs and into his second-hand bookstore. There wasn’t anyone in right now; it was his usual lunch hour. Smith Center wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to support this little store, and next to the Bunker it was Sam’s favourite place in the world. Now he paced the aisles, feeling dizzy.

            He heard Sarah’s footsteps on the stairs and walked quickly towards the cash register. To his dismay, Sarah didn’t follow him. She was walking purposefully, looking for something. Sam craned his neck and saw her pull a book off the shelf and scribble something in it.

            Heart in his throat, Sam watched her approach, hands behind her back. When she got up to the counter, she put a book down.

            “I want this one.”

            _The Princess Bride._

Sam had a flashback to their first date.

_Their first real date, at a diner that actually made amazing salads and chicken burgers. “I hate that my name means princess,” Sarah groaned. “I never wanted to be one.”_

_“I think you’d be a kickass princess,” Sam argued. “Princess of art and awesomeness.”_

            Sam picked up the book with trembling hands, and opened it.

            In Sarah’s messing handwriting was one simple word, a word that held so much power.

            _Yes._

Sam walked around the counter. “Really?”

            Sarah nodded, eyes shining. “Yes!”

            Sam swept her into his arms, her arms going around his neck as he held her. “I promise I’ll be good,” he whispered.

            “I promise I’ll take care of you,” Sarah replied. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

            “Oh!” Sam fumbled in his pocket for the box. “I have a ring.”

            Sarah’s eyes widened when she saw the ring. “Sam…”

            “Bobby helped me find it,” Sam explained. “It’s not a diamond, I know how you feel about those. It’s moissanite.”

            “It’s beautiful,” Sarah whispered. “And it’s so sparkly!”

            Sam grinned as he slipped the ring onto her finger. “Only the best for my princess,” he said.

            Sarah nestled against him. “I guess I can be your princess. But only you.”

            Sam held her close, tears in his eyes. “As you wish, my lady.”

* * *

 

            The ‘S’ wedding was the third ‘Men of Letters’ wedding (Donna and Jody jokingly referred to themselves as the Hipster Hunters, ‘creating networks before it was cool’), so it was a calmer project.

            Sarah made her own dress with Anna’s help, and she spent the bulk of the lead-up to the wedding working on that and the decorations. Hannah, Meg and Gabriel got involved too, and one of the big storerooms in the Bunker was off-limits for everyone else.           

            Sam was in charge of the rest (which was mildly terrifying), but he pulled himself together. He asked Benny, Dean and Jody if they would help with cooking, and planned a menu, he sent out invitations to the few guests who didn’t live in Lebanon, and he got a playlist together. That was the toughest part.

            Sarah enjoyed music greatly, and her taste was much more eclectic than his. She’d already given him a list of songs she wanted to play absolutely, but as for their first dance…

            He just didn’t know what to do.

            There were songs that reminded him of parts of them, parts of their relationship, but Sam couldn’t think of one song that could sum them up perfectly.

            It was finally two weeks before the wedding, and in utter desperation Sam asked Dean. “I feel like a failure,” he confessed bitterly. “How come I can’t find the right song?”

            “You’re thinking about it the wrong way,” Dean answered. “Cas picked ours because he felt like it told his story waiting for me.”

            “Awwww…”

            Dean didn’t even blush. Sam was so proud. “If she’s giving you the song choice, give her a story. Find one that feels like you’re saying it.”

            And just like that, Sam remembered a band Sarah loved unapologetically, one that he was sure had a song for them.

            He was right.

* * *

          

            The wedding guests were partly from Sarah’s family (some of whom weren’t totally impressed with Sarah’s decision to move to the middle of nowhere, Kansas), so the magic in the ceremony had to be even more understated than Jody and Donna’s wedding. It was present in the smaller things: a bit of extra room, guests from Heaven, the easing of joint pain in the older and injured guests so they could enjoy themselves.

            Sam barely noticed. The bookstore was crowded with people (even with most of the books moved upstairs by his three best men), and the walls were draped in soft blue fabric, embroidered with silver flowers and golden stars. He stood near the counter, waiting for Sarah to come down the stairs.

            And she came, drifting down the stairs on her father’s arm.

            Sam’s heart nearly stopped. Her dress was beautiful, and he recognized the pattern—Buttercup’s dress from the _Princess Bride._ Only instead of pale blue it was silver, shining against Sarah’s skin. The tiara sparkled against her dark hair.

            The crowd stared in awe as Sarah approached, smiling hugely under her misty veil. Her father was crying, and Sam realized that his own eyes were blurring.

            Sarah hugged her Dad, and he lifted the veil from her face and pressed her hand into Sam’s. Sam took her other hand, held them close in his much larger ones.

            Chuck was watching them, and it was a moment before he cleared his throat. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

            Their vows were the traditional ones, passed down in a church Sarah’s mother had once belonged to. Sarah knew God now, had angels for in-laws, but she asked if they could do as close to a Catholic wedding as you could outside a church for her mother, and Sam had agreed.

            And even though he’d heard the words before, heard them thousands of times in movies, they felt powerful and strong when he spoke them.

            “I do,” he said. _I will do everything to love you, to take care of you, because you are the greatest gift I’ve ever been given._

“I do,” Sarah said, and he heard _I will love you and cherish you, I will never leave because you are my home._

And he kissed her, hoping that she’d heard him, that she understood.

            And one look in her eyes when the kiss ended, her shining, beautiful eyes, told him she had.    

* * *

 

            The bookstore was far too small for dancing, even with Gabriel’s “tweaking”, so they walked together down to the hall. It was decorated too, and it felt like they’d stepped into a softer world, one where their families could be friends and chat without fear.

            Maybe it wasn’t a different world, Sam mused as he ate with Sarah on his lap. Maybe it was the one they were starting to build.

            Dean tapped his glass, and Sam grinned at Sarah. “I win,” he whispered.

            Sarah kissed the grin off his face. “You had the advantage.”

            Sam smiled and watched his brother stand. Yes, he was pretty sure Dean was going to be the one that did the speech. Cas had sorted out his outfit, and Adam had been dealing with minor crises (spilled wine, crying second cousin, odd symbol on one of the napkins).

            “I’m not going to go on too long,” Dean promised. “I know my brother’s looking forward to his first dance. I’ve been helping him practice, and boy did he need it!”

            Sam scowled at him. He wasn’t a naturally graceful dancer, sue him. There was no need for everyone to start referring to him as ‘Moose’.

            “Anyways, where are my notecards…damn it. Guess I’m winging it.”

            Sam rolled his eyes.

            “Sammy, when we were growing up you always talked about the lady you wanted to fall in love with. You wanted someone beautiful and brave, who liked to read and didn’t like licorice.”

            Sarah laughed. Sarah gave him a thumbs up.

            “You wanted someone kind, too,” Dean continued. “Someone who liked dogs, who liked to cuddle, and who wanted to help people. I always told you that there was no such woman, that there would never be anyone that perfect. Truth was, I never thought you’d find anyone good enough for you, who’s all those things yourself.”

            Sam’s throat went tight.

            “And now look,” Dean said. “You found her, Sammy, and I was so wrong.” He raised his glass to Sarah. “Welcome to the family, little sister! I’ll educate you about licorice someday!”

            Sarah wiped her eyes. 

            “Alright, time for dancing!” Dean’s voice was gruff now, and Sam could see the effort he was putting in to not breaking down. “You ready, Sammy?”

            Sam set Sarah on her feet and led her to the dance floor. He took her in his arms and nodded to Dean.

            _There’s a place_

_I’ve been looking for_

_That took me in and out of buildings_

_Behind windows, walls and doors_

Sarah’s face lit up as they started to dance. “How did you know?” she whispered as he spun her around.

            “Knew what?” Sam asked, baffled .

            “This is how I think about you,” Sarah said. She leaned her head against his chest. “I know…I know you’ve had it bad Sam. And I can’t understand what you went through. But there have been a lot of moments where I thought I would never be happy. Never have this. I’m glad I do now.”

            Sam held her as tight as he could, letting the music swirl around them for a moment. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered brokenly. “I’m so happy that I have the chance to do the same for you. We’re together now, and everything is going to be alright. We’re _here.”_

            Sarah laughed. “Come on, baby. Let’s keep dancing.”

            _And I wouldn’t change a thing,_

_I’d walk right back through the rain,_

_Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking._

_And I’d relive all the years,_

_And be thankful for the tears,_

_I’ve cried with every stumbled step that led to you,_

_And got me here._

* * *

 

            Hours later, a little while after the older guests were starting to leave, Sam went outside for a break. His head was spinning a bit from champagne (he’d lost his tolerance for alcohol), and he took a few deep breaths of the soft spring air.

            “You look happy, Sam.”

            Chuck had materialized beside him.

            “I am happy,” Sam said, inclining his head. “And that is thanks to you.”

            Chuck shook his head. “You’re not very good at giving yourself credit. Or your wife, for that matter.”

            “I didn’t mean her,” Sam said hurriedly. “I just meant that you—you brought me to her.”

            “No, I didn’t.” Chuck sounded like he was patiently explaining to a two year old why the square block wasn’t fitting in the triangle slot. “I gave you a sign that you could be happy with her. You and Sarah created your love together. That had nothing to do with me. I am very happy that it worked out, and you’re both to be congratulated.”

            Sam bowed his head again.

            “Sarah told me she’s only accepting her ‘princess’ name because she likes being your princess,” Chuck mused. “Do you know what your name means, Samuel?”

            Sam looked at him, startled by the change in his voice. There was a deeper tone to it, more like the Voice that silenced the chaos in Heaven a few years before.

            “I…I don’t, actually.”

            “Samuel has two meanings. It can mean ‘Name of God’—which is a bit confusing, frankly, and why I didn’t use it—but it also means ‘God has heard’.” Chuck tilted Sam’s chin so that their eyes met. “Sam, I have left you unanswered for too long, and you have come through many trials with a worthy soul. Go in peace now, with hope in your heart. I will hear you.”

            Sam swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

            “You shouldn’t be thanking me for starting to do my job again.” Chuck drew Sam down and kissed his forehead. “Enjoy your party. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your bride. The Bahamas, right?”

            “Sarah really wanted to go,” Sam said.

            Chuck laughed. “Pack sunscreen!”

            “I will.”

            “Goodbye, Sam. See you soon.” And Chuck vanished.

* * *

 

            When Sam and Sarah returned from the Bahamas, the first thing they did was hang up the painting Sam had made for Sarah. It was a simple picture, and one day their youngest daughter would draw far better. Sarah still called it the greatest work of art she’d ever seen.

            It was a sketch of a slightly-better-than-stick man kneeling in front of a woman surrounded by canvases. Each canvas had a letter on it.

            They spelled out ‘Will you marry me?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they're two arts-loving dorks who express it in different ways.  
> There was a touch more religion in this chapter than usual, but Sam's faith and his struggles with it are an important part of Supernatural that gets overlooked a lot. I wanted to give him a chance to connect with Chuck in this story in terms of faith. (No, I'm not bitter at all, why do you ask?)  
> Thanks ME1 for encouraging me to write more weddings!  
> Cheers,  
> Acme  
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO PUT THE TITLE OF THE SONG. It's called 'Here' by Rascal Flatts.


	9. Bela's New Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meg finds a soul in need of a change, and Dean gets to repay a debt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for non-graphic discussion of torture.

            She missed her own body.

            She hated the too-short hair, the legs that were way longer than she used to have, the pain in her back.

            Most of all, she hated the woman’s constant screeches in the back of her mind.

            “Stop screaming,” she tried to convince her. “It’s not going to help you, and I’m not hurting you. Just let me get to where I need to go.”

            The message had intrigued her. She knew Meg had thrown her lot in with the humans ( _she was human once, it hadn’t even been two years on Earth somehow),_ but she’d shown her the ropes when she finally became fully demonic. Her old mentor said she could help.

            So Bela went to the tiny town in Kansas.

            Meg met her under an old tree. “How’s it going?”

            “I hate this vessel,” Bela grumbled. “I can’t get her to stop screaming.”

            “Just kill her.”

            “I don’t want to do that.”

            Meg’s eyes lit up. “Really? You don’t? Damn, Dean might be right.”

            “Dean?”

            “He and the others found something pretty interesting. They want to talk to you about it.”

            Meg wouldn’t explain further, so Bela had to follow her to some creepy door in the side of a hill.

            Meg opened the door. “Can one of you come get her?”

            Panic struck Bela, but Meg help up a hand. “I can’t carry you over the threshold,” she explained. “This place is warded like crazy, but you can come in if they let you.”

            “I’m not a damn vampire,” Bela snapped.

            Then Dean Winchester was at the door.

            He looked very different from the last time she saw him.

            “Hi Dean.”

            Dean didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Come on in, Bela.” He reached out a hand and Bela took it. She winced as he pulled her through the door, but he didn’t hurt her.

            _Not this time._

The Bunker was a strange looking place, but Bela didn’t have a chance to look around. Dean was pulling her down a hall, then into a small, dark room.

            “What’s going on, Dean?” She could fight him if she needed to; tear into him, crush his ribs.

            There was an angel in the corner of the room. “Hello, Bela.”

            “Who are you?”

            “I am Castiel.”

            _Castiel_. Bela remembered him coming.

            “Bela, I want to offer you a chance to be human again.”

            Bela snorted. “Going to bless me, angel?”

            “No. Dean will you explain?”

            Bela listened in shock as Dean explained what the Men of Letters were, and how in trying to tidy up the Bunker they’d found a video of the process of curing demons.

            “And it worked?” Bela whispered.

            “Yes. Sam found the records, and he found that the former demon actually became a Man of Letters.”

            “How is he? Him and your other brother?”

            “It was you that found them, wasn’t it? He and Adam are doing okay. They’ve been healed, and they’re recovering. They’re out right now getting clothes for you—whatever you choose. They said you gave them some.”

            Bela’s head whirled. “Why are you doing this for me?”

            Dean looked her in the eye for the first time. “Because I made you this way.”

            _In the darkness for years, tied to a wall but no torture, not yet._

_“We’re saving you for someone.”_

_Finally onto the rack, screaming and screaming and knowing it wouldn’t stop until she hurt someone._

_Then one day it was someone with green eyes, not black._

_“Dean, please. Please don’t…”_

_He was still for a long moment, his soul covered in scars, but the demon behind him raised a whip. “I’m sorry, Bela.” He bent over her. “Give in quickly.” Then he took the whip from the demon, and his eyes grew just a little darker._

_They were purely black by the time Castiel came._

“You had no choice.”

            “Yes, I did. And they used you to make me break faster.” Dean looked away. “You made a deal to protect yourself from monsters, and I turned you into one.”

            Bela stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Dean, you’re an idiot. I heard about the plan. I know all of it. You had no choice. And you didn’t owe me a damn thing. You still don’t.” She took a deep breath, one she didn’t need anymore. “I’ll do it. But I can’t take this vessel. She’s still alive.”

            Dean actually smiled. “That won’t be a problem. We've got someone who can build your body for you. Gabriel?”

            A snap, and an _archangel_ appeared in the room.

            “How you doing, Bela? Ready to get your soul back?”

            Bela almost said yes, then thought of something. “Why aren’t you doing it?” she asked Meg.

            Meg laughed. “My girlfriend likes my tail, and her dad gave me a pass into Heaven. I can deal with this. You don’t have to.”

            Bela swallowed. “I’m in.”        

The cure _hurt._ But it was such a good pain Bela almost laughed. She could feel her demonic wings being shredded, her tail evaporating, horns receding. She could feel the flesh becoming hers once again, and she almost sang with relief.

            When it was over, she was weak with exhaustion, and she didn’t argue when Meg picked her up and placed her in a bed.

Bela woke up two days later and stretched her arms— _her arms_ —above her head. She laughed when she realized she was on silk sheets.

“Feeling better?” Meg drawled. She was sitting on the end of the bed.

            “Much.” Bela paused. “What do I do now?”

            “Whatever you want.” That was Dean, standing in the door. “You’ve got your humanity back, it’s up to you to use it. Don’t make any more deals.”

             “I don’t think I’ll have a reason,” Bela said quietly. “I think I’ll just go have some fun for a while.”

            “Your money’s all still there,” Dean said. He shifted. “Bela—”

            “It’s alright, Dean,” Bela interrupted. “I would have done the same. We were both trapped.”

            “I shouldn’t have—”

            “I broke too.” Bela stood. “If you’ve got breakfast, I’d be grateful. Then I’m going to go.”

            And she did. Meg brought her a car, and Sam and Adam gave her three suitcases full of pretty clothes, and Bela hit the road. She drove until she hit Kansas City, went straight to a five-star hotel, and spent a week getting her head back together.

            She went back to her old job, but she couldn’t quit bring herself to work with just anyone. She never stole from the Winchesters again.

            And she mostly kept her promise to Dean. She never went through with another demon deal.

However, Bela often found herself at the crossroads, offering bait. Some of the demons snarled at her; a few tried to kill her. Those ones got knifed.

But there were a few others. Mostly new ones that remembered being human, but there were a few older ones who listened. Who took her up on the offer to drive to a tiny town in Kansas, and trade in their hell-wings for a human mind and heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly think that Bela was the first soul Dean tortured, based on a comment Alistair made in 'On the Head of a Pin'. I thought she deserved better than what the show could give her, so she gets a second chance here.  
> Also, I now have a tumblr! It is a hot mess and I need to figure out exactly how the site works, but I have one. It's illuminating-dragons.tumblr.com, so feel free to stop by!  
> Cheers,  
> Acme


	10. These Small Hours (for benihime_chan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's Nest comes back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Hime, this was a wonderful request and I had a lot of fun writing it. Note that while Balthazar does regress, it's completely non-sexual.

_Gabriel and Anna_

Gabriel found Anna in Purgatory shortly after landing. Horrified to find his nestling, he took her into the small nest he managed to build. She recovered slowly from her wounds, and Gabriel did his best to keep her calm. She wasn’t quite human, wasn’t quite angelic, and there were days he feared that she would break apart.

Now they were back in the world, but she still seemed fragile.

Gabriel took her back to Heaven as soon as he could. He curled his Grace around her in his nest. “Dear one, tell me about it.”

            And Anna did. And she shook as she told him about the torture she remembered, the loneliness, the strangeness of Naomi’s failed mindwipe. And the agony she faced now, trying to face her siblings.

“I left them,” she sobbed. “I wasn’t strong enough.”

            “You were being broken,” Gabriel soothed her. “You were falling apart, and you tried to save yourself. Believe me, I understand.”

            “What if they hate me?”

            “They don’t, sweetheart. I promise you they don’t. You need to speak to them. We all need to readjust to this.” He wrapped his wings more tightly around her. “Father knows that I have the biggest burden to bear in that effort.”            

            “You shouldn’t have left.”

            Her quiet condemnation hurt him to his core.

            “But I understand why you did.” Anna looked up at him. “Promise you won’t do it again?”

            “I promise,” Gabriel whispered. “I promise forever.”

_Gabriel and Balthazar_

Six days of the week, Balthazar was fine. He spent at least four of those days with Lisa and Ben, and the rest at the Bunker, pestering the researchers. He drank everyone but Castiel under the table, helped Ben with his physics homework, and took Lisa out to dinner after work.

            The seventh day of the week, Balthazar spent in Heaven with Gabriel alone.

            He didn’t want the others to know about that day. He didn’t want to do it at _all._ But he needed it, and after a long talk with Chuck and Gabriel, he realized that torture leaves different kinds of wounds.

            Anna was fragile, close to breaking apart. Castiel had fear to his core. Samandriel and Hannah were quick (too quick) to obey.

            And Balthazar?

            On the seventh day—not always the same day each week—Balthazar would go to the nest alone. When he was there, he let his guard down, stepped out of his vessel, and stepped backwards in his mind.

            “There’s my baby,” Gabriel cooed.

            One day a week, Balthazar let himself regress into a childlike state of mind. He never spoke of it, not even to Cas, not even to Lisa. But when he was a child, he was safe, someone was taking care of him. He didn’t have to think about the thousands of years that torture hadn’t let him be a good big brother, the milennia had taken away his older siblings and his father.

            Six days a week, Balthazar coped. One day a week, he didn’t have to.

            He really was glad Gabriel was back.

 

_Gabriel and Castiel_

“How are things going with Dean?”

            “Well, thanks.”

            “That’s odd.”

            “What?”

            “I must have just imagined him running into our room screaming death threats about you, right?”

            “…”

            “I love him, Gabriel, please don’t drive him away.”

            “I didn’t do anything that bad.”

            “You _turned the Impala bright gold.”_

“It’s been the colour of your wings for ages!”

            “ _Gabriel.”_

“I’ll turn it back. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

            “He worries, you know.”

            “About?”

            “He knows what you were. And every time you play a trick on him, he worries that you might be sending him a sign.”     

            “Oh for the love of—I’m not! He’s just so much fun to tease!”

            “Please make that clear. I don’t want him to feel unworthy.”

            “…I’ll tell him. He takes good care of you. Speaking of which, have you been keeping up with your breathing exercises?”

            “I have. I also spoke to Jimmy. He confirmed his anxiety. I’m doing some of the same calming rituals he does.”

            “If you need any help, you can ask.”

            “I promise, brother. Now go fix my fiancé’s car.”

            “Will do.”

_Gabriel and Hannah_

“Hannah, are you coming?”

            Hannah looked up from her book. “Coming where?”

            “We’re going flying tonight, remember?” Gabriel said, his brow furrowed. “We talked about it this morning."

            Hannah’s eyes widened. “I didn’t realize you included me.”

            “Of course I did. Do you have other plans?”

            “No,” Hannah said quickly. “I can come if you want me to.”

            Gabriel took her hand. “Of course we do. Come on, Balthazar and Samandriel are waiting.”

            When they were in the air, Gabriel looked over at Hannah. She was hanging back, hesitant. She’d always been shy, even as a baby, but she was never this shy around her nest.

            Gabriel flew closer to her so their wings brushed, and Hannah smiled at him. Getting the hint, their brothers joined them, flying close together in formation.

            “Hannah gets to choose where we go tonight,” Gabriel announced. “Where to, Hani?”

            “Can we go to the Amazon? Meg says the river is beautiful.”

            Gabriel nodded. “Let’s stay close,” he called.

            The next few times Gabriel asked Hannah specifically to join them. It was a wonderful day when he told the group they were going to a festival in Beijing and Hannah asked if she could bring Meg: “She can fly too.”

           

_Gabriel and Samandriel_

Samandriel was the youngest by a long time. It was nearly three hundred years between him and Hannah, and Gabriel had been genuinely surprised when he was handed the small baby.

            “He will be the last I ask of you, Gabriel,” Father had said. “At least for a while.”

            Gabriel hadn’t understood how long ‘a while’ was then. Lucifer had Fallen not twenty years later, barely enough time for Samandriel’s first molt to happen. The night he left, he’d put the baby in Anna’s arms and told her to watch him.

            He hadn’t meant to be gone for so long.

            Now he watched the grown angel fidget in front of him a few days after their father’s return.

            “Do you want to…” Gabriel cast around desperately for something to do. “Do you want to go to the garden?”

            Samandriel’s face lit up. “That would be lovely!”

            When they got there Samandriel immediately went for the flower field, sinking down among the blossoms with a sigh. The flowers moved to accommodate Gabriel too.

            “This is nice,” Samandriel said. “It’s calm here.”

            “I suppose Heaven was pretty chaotic for a while.”

            Samandriel shook his head. “It was orderly, but it was very tense. There was no time for being quiet.”

            “Tell me about that time,” Gabriel said. “Tell me about you.”

            “I’m not very interesting,” Samandriel said, blushing. “I haven’t done anything very special.”

            “You’ve lived,” Gabriel answered, “and I missed it. I want to hear everything about you.”

            “Like what?”

            “What’s your favourite colour?”

 

_Anna and Balthazar_

“You’re bossy!”

             It was a joke when they were small. It was a jab when they were older, when Anna stood as a general and Balthazar served under her. Each time, he hadn’t really meant it. Anna took charge of the games, certainly, but she always asked nicely and stopped when Gabriel said stop. And when he’d stood in front of her, a few rows from Castiel, Balthazar had known his sister was taking someone else’s orders. 

            He’d never realized they were taking the same ones. _Obey. Forget. Stay away from those you love._

            Now they were on some strange footing, with Anna getting used to the world again and Balthazar dating Lisa. They had their siblings back, they had their _Nester_ back. Still they circled each other, careful not to say the wrong thing.

            One night they accompanied their partners to a dinner at the Bunker to celebrate the first month of the Men of Letters. Charlie got very drunk and began insisting that they change the name, and Anna was attempting to quiet her.

           “Charlie, drink some water! Egalitarianism will not protect you from a hangover, my love!”

           “You’re so bossy!” Balthazar joked without thinking.

            Anna glared at him. “You have smelly wings!”

            Balthazar stared at her in total shock for about a minute before he burst out laughing. How long had it been since he heard that retort? Long before she stood in front of him in armor, calling herself his general, wings shrouded in Holy Light to conceal scars she couldn’t remember.

           Anna smiled back a little shyly.

           Maybe they didn’t have to try. Maybe things would get better faster if they didn’t think about it.

 

_Anna and Castiel_

“Casti—Cas?”

            “Yes, Anna?” Cas was finishing his work on Dean’s costume.

            “Are you going to join in this...LARPing game?”

            “I intend to. Charlie has assured me that she’ll find me a role.” Cas smiled. “I would like to stand with Dean. Perhaps one of the Queen’s guards?”

            “She wants me to be her consort,” Anna said, her mouth drawn.

            “Does the title bother you? I’m sure if you wanted to be a Lady or a Princess she wouldn’t mind.”

            Anna sighed. “It’s not that. I don’t mind being her consort, I just don’t think I’ll be good at this.”

            “Good at it?”

            “It’s been a long time since I played, Cas. In either life.”

            Cas considered that for a moment. “It took me a while to get used to playing too,” he admitted. “Or at least doing things that were purposeless, other than enjoyment.”

            “What helped?”

            “My memories of our Nest helped a bit,” Cas answered. “And I found some purpose in it after all: I was making the man I loved happy. That led me to find my own pleasure.”

            “And now you want to play knight and wave foam swords around.”

            “It is fun,” Cas cajoled. “Come on, Anna. Come and play.”

            Anna sighed. “I’ll try.”

            “Here,” Cas said. “I’ll teach you how to wear a tiara.”

            “How do you know?”

            “Donna has been watching wedding shows and Jody threatened to kill her if she had to watch another. There’s apparently a specific way to do it.”

            Anna smiled, and let Cas show her.

            Play does, sometimes, have protocol to follow.

           

_Anna and Hannah_

Angels didn’t have the same genders as humans. Anna knew several of her siblings who felt little connection to their human vessels, and used pronouns only when conversing with humans. Others adapted, and still others maintained a preferred gender (usually with a particularly beloved vessel) no matter what form they were in. Simplified versions of their names had been adopted by humanity, of course, but they were excessively gendered. Anna knew Benjamin, for example, thought it was hilarious that her name was meant for males.

            But Anna was different. Anna had never taken a male vessel, and she’d been born into a girl’s body when she fell. She’d never felt anything other than ‘female’, and liked it that way. She was a sister and a daughter, and that was wonderful.

            So when Hannah asked her shyly if she could teach her some ‘feminine’ practices, Anna was delighted. It took some time to untangle which practices were properly ‘girly’, but Anna managed to convince her little sibling that her doing things made them girly. That being said, they spent a small fortune on makeup, and in the following years would get together, paint their nails and talk about their girlfriends.

            Being stereotypically girly was fun sometimes. Especially if Dean and Benjamin joined them.

           

_Anna and Samandriel_

Anna woke in the middle of the night, sure that someone was in trouble.

            Charlie lay wrapped around her, snoring loudly. Anna stroked her hair as she listened. There was no sound, but there was definitely something wrong.

            Gently slipping out of Charlie’s embrace, Anna tiptoed into the hall. Nothing stirred; all the lovers were asleep, there were no phones going off, the wards were secure…but someone was unhappy and hurt.

            She needed to find out who it was.

            Anna sharpened her senses, reaching out with her Grace. She recoiled in horror when she found it; Samandriel curled up weeping in his bed.

            Anna flew to his room immediately. “Dri?” she crooned. “Come here, it’s alright.”

            Instead of coming near as he had when he was still a fledgling, Samandriel moved away from her, crying louder.

            “Dri?” Anna whispered. “It’s okay. Please, it’s okay…”

            Dri trembled. “I’m sorry,” he moaned. “I know your wings are worse, but…”

            “That doesn’t matter,” Anna said firmly, even though she felt like she was going to be sick. “Do they hurt?”

            Dri sniffled. “No, but I had a dream, and she was _there_ again…”

            Anna gathered him into her lap. “She’s gone. Balthazar killed her. And she hurt you, Dri, of course you are suffering. But you know what I think will help?”

            “What?”

            Anna didn’t answer out loud. Instead, she began to groom Samandriel’s wings. She smiled as he sighed and curled closer to her, letting his wings splay out. Unlike her other nestmates, who’d protested loudly when they were groomed, Samandriel had adored the process from birth. She was careful around the scarred areas, but still thorough, spreading the feathers out as he fell asleep.

 

_Balthazar and Castiel_

“How often did she do it to you?”

            “I beg your pardon?” Cas stared at his brother. They were out sitting at the top of a mountain, drinking a bottle of whiskey from at least two hundred years ago. There were no stars, and the moon was hidden by clouds.

            “How often did Naomi torture you?” Balthazar asked.

            “Why on Earth do you want to know?” Cas demanded.

            “My sessions were fairly spaced out,” Balthazar said, his head titled back. “It seemed like it they were once every couple hundred years, no more often than that. Long sessions though. I remember one time she actually took a break—”

            “Balthazar!” Cas was horrified. “Brother, you don’t have to tell me this.”

            Balthazar laughed. “I know Cassie, I know. But here’s the thing. I _want_ to. I want to tell you every last detail. And I’ll reciprocate; I want to hear yours too. All of it.”

            “Brother I…” Cas struggled to articulate what he meant. “I am there to listen if you wish, but why so suddenly?”

            “Because I can’t quite hold the memories,” Balthazar answered. He suddenly looked old, very old. “I know it happened now, I’ve got the scars to prove it, but sometimes it doesn’t feel real, you know? I slip back into my other self, the one who obeyed no matter what, who coloured in the lines. I want to remember why that self isn’t me anymore. What created him.”

            Cas took a deep breath. “I understand. Continue, Bal. I’m here.”

 

_Balthazar and Hannah_

Balthazar didn’t totally understand why anyone needed quiet. 

            He liked noise, laughter, song…whatever the sound was, as long as it was good and loud. Even bad noise was better than nothing. One of the things he loved most about Lisa was her willingness to have a good shouting match instead of calmly discussing their problems.

            (Once they’d calmly discussed that this was his preferred method of solving problems, followed by angry sex).

            He was therefore mystified by Hannah’s need for solitude. She’d been so lonely; had been frank about her loneliness. So why was she seeking out silence?

            When he asked her about it, she just laughed. “I do like solitude sometimes, Bal. It gives me time for dreaming. And now I know I can join my family when I wish to, so the dreaming is more pleasant.”

            From then on (not often, just sometimes), Balthazar would join Hannah. There was still noise: wind when they were outside, the soft rustle of their wings, the gentle breath being cycled through their vessels’ lungs. But it was quiet enough for dreaming, and Balthazar soon discovered that Hannah was right. It was nice to dream now, when you knew you had a future to look forward to.

 

_Balthazar and Samandriel_

“Are you interested in mating, Samandriel?”

            Samandriel looked up in shock. “With you?”

            Balthazar howled with laughter. “Of course not. With…someone. Anyone.”

            Samandriel cocked his head. “I don’t think so. I’m not really interested in anyone I know.”

            “You could try and meet someone,” Balthazar suggested. “Have you met all the angels? Or perhaps you’d rather meet a human. That seems to run in our nest.”

            Samandriel shrugged. “I don’t see the point. I am happy as I am.”

            “Okay.”

            “Okay?” Samandriel looked surprised. “I thought you might try to talk me into it.”

            “You don’t want to,” Balthazar pointed out. “Why should I try? If it happens, it happens. I know some humans aren’t a fan of romance or sex, and certainly most angels are the same. There are only…what, fifteen mated pairs outside our nest?” He slung an arm around Samandriel’s shoulders. “All this means, little brother, is that I will have someone to pester when I’m not with Lisa, since our other siblings are all cozied up with their mates.”

            “Lucky me,” Samandriel groaned.

            “I’ll be mostly nice. Only a little bit of pestering. Have you ever been to Build-A-Bear, Dri?”

            “…No?”

            “Terrific! We can go there now. Let’s see how many modifications we can make before people start staring. And don’t be obvious; children do go to the store.”

            “What do you mean?”

Balthazar laughed. “I’ve got lots to teach you, little one.”

 

_Castiel and Hannah_

Cas couldn’t remember a time before Hannah. She was created after him, he knew that, but all of his earliest memories involved her. She had been his constant companion, resting with him, playing, and eating. When they were outside of vessels, it was hard to tell their Graces apart.

            Now there was nearly two thousand years, two families and two mates between them. Hannah had changed:  no longer quite so confident, no longer trusting. He’d changed: no longer obedient, no longer quiet.

            But they found their rhythm again, spending time together every day in the late afternoon, talking about their mates and eating burgers. And even though he sobbed when they laid their wings out side by side and he noticed that their scars matched (though he had more), there was healing in those tears.

            Soon they couldn’t quite believe there’d been a time they were apart.

 

_Castiel and Samandriel_

Cas groaned when he heard his daughter start to cry. He didn’t even need to sleep, and he was exhausted.

            “It’s your turn,” Dean mumbled.

            “I know, I know…” Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple and slid out of bed. Mary’s bedroom was just down the hall, but it felt like an eternity to the weary angel.

            Mary stopped crying just before he got to the door, and he held his breath, wondering if she’d gone back to sleep. Then he heard a voice murmuring quietly.

            “Shush, Mary, that’s it.”

            Cas peered around the door. Samandriel stood next to her crib, the baby cradled in his arms.

            “You were hungry, weren’t you?” Samandriel cooed. He was holding a bottle to her lips. “Your fatherdid that too. He always got up in the night to get food. He always made sure we were still covered and warm.”

            The moonlight shone in, reflecting off the mobile Samandriel had helped to build.

            “There we go, all done.” Samandriel took the bottle away and propped the baby up on his shoulder. “Apparently you need to burp, so go ahead little one.” He patted her back gently, and the baby hiccupped.

            “Good girl.” Samandriel moved to put her back in her crib, and Mary began to fuss again. Cas moved to step in, but Samandriel just picked her back up.

            “Of course, silly me.” Samandriel rocked her for a moment. “Do you want a song, little one? I can sing you something your father sang. I’m not sure I remember all the words…”

            Samandriel had always had the most beautiful voice, even better than Gabriel’s, but it had never made Cas cry. Now he wept as he listened to his youngest nestmate croon an old lullaby to his daughter. He’d almost forgotten that song.

            But when Samandriel’s voice faltered towards the end, he remembered just enough to finish it, and help Samandriel adjust Mary’s sleep sack as they placed her in the crib.

            “Thank you for feeding her,” Cas whispered as they watched the baby girl sleep.

            “You always took care of me, Cas. I can return the favour for your daughter.”

 

_Hannah and Samandriel_

Samandriel heard Hannah’s cry of rage long before he saw her. “Sister?” he called. “Are you well?”

            Hannah stormed into the room. Her hair was the colour of a midday sky.

            “Where is Gabriel?!”

            “He’s been in Pandora with Kali for a week, remember?”

            Hannah considered this, then; “BALTHAZAR!”

            Samandriel was playing with baby Adam and Mary when Balthazar came in. “Stop using that language,” he scolded his cursing brother. “They are beginning to understand Enochian.” He tried to stop himself from laughing.

            Balthazar glared at him, his now green hair clashing magnificently with his purple skin. “Where is our dear sister?”

            “Anna? I believe she’s with—”

            “Not Anna, Hani! She did this. I found her feathers by my bed.”

            “No!” Samandriel feigned shock.

            “She’s going to answer for it,” Balthazar said darkly, and turned to leave.

            And that was when Samandriel’s luck ran out, because Hannah stormed in at that exact moment, hair still bright blue. “You!” she snarled at Balthazar.

            “Me?! You’re the one who’s made me look like a bunch of grapes!”

            “I did nothing of the kind, but you would deserve it! Look at my hair!”

            “I found your feathers, Hannah! And I never touched your hair, I respect your girlfriend too much. Meg would skin me!”

            Samandriel snickered to himself. Unfortunately, his siblings heard.

            “Wait a moment…” Hannah glanced at Balthazar. “Bal, I think our little brother was trying to get us to go against one another. He did help me groom myself last night.”

            “And he asked me what my favourite colour was,” Balthazar added. “Hani, whatever should we do?”

            Samandriel tried to fly away, but Balthazar grabbed him and pinned him to the ground. “Hani, move the babies, will you?”

            Hannah gently put the two giggling children on the sofa and knelt next to Balthazar. “I have an idea, brother.”

            “Oh yes?”

            “I seem to recall him being very ticklish.”

            Balthazar poked at Samandriel’s armpits, and he squeaked.

            “I think you’re a genius, Hani,” Balthazar said with a smirk.

           

_All together_

            The Bunker is home for Cas, Anna and Hannah. Balthazar, Samandriel and Gabriel have rooms there, but they aren’t there all the time.

            What they do all have in the Bunker is a nest.

            The one that was built for them in Heaven is long gone, the atoms shuffled about to make more room for individual nests. Their Father offered to rebuild it, but Heaven wasn’t home anymore. If they wanted a place, they would make it themselves.

            There’s a high ceilinged storage room that Dean thinks might have once held an airplane hangar. Despite being several feet under ground, the theory makes sense; there’s a tunnel leading from it, now sealed, and there’s plenty of room. But the humans don’t use it now; they have no plane.

            Gabriel found the room first. He showed it to his nestlings, promising that they didn’t have to use it, but it could be fun to build a nest there.

            Anna immediately brought in the biggest bean bag chairs she could find online. With Balthazar’s help, she sewed them together into one giant bean sack. The colourful sack was soon draped with quilts Balthazar found at second hand stores with Lisa. Cas strewed the place with clothes from their drawers, and Samandriel found long bolts of cloth to drape from the ceiling, making it feel like a tent within the room.

            They still had their mates, still had their human family, and they weren’t always together. But it was their place to retreat to together, to seek sanctuary with each other. And whether it was sorrow or love that drew them together, they ended up curled together the same way they did thousands of years ago, looking up at a sky full of stars, up to a Heaven that had once held their home.

            Home was somewhere different now, but it still had the same people. And that’s what mattered in the end.

 

_All lives are made in these small hours,_

_These little wonders,_

_These twists and turns of fate,_

_Time falls away,_

_But these small hours, these small hours,_

_Still remain._

\--Little Wonders, Rob Thomas


	11. Ben the Bewildered Babysitter (for Christilyn)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's having a great time with his little siblings...until they try hide and go seek on for size.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Christilyn for the prompt, hope you like it!  
> Note: Enochian is a @#&*#% difficult language to find a dictionary for, and most of them do not contain normal words like 'father'. As such, I have borrowed 'Aba' as the Enochian father from...some fanfiction I can't remember the title of. So Aba is Cas.

            As far as Ben could understand, his little brother and sister were mostly human.

            Nephilim were still frowned upon, and Cas hadn’t gotten pregnant (or gotten _Dad_ pregnant), and both kids had human souls. They needed to eat and sleep, and Ben changed enough diapers to know that they sure as hell did that too.

            But mostly human…well, it wasn’t human. Some of Cas' Grace had gone into their creation, and it popped up in unexpected ways. 

            It took Ben a while to realize that Mary Jo had learned to talk. It sounded like babble to him, but Cas explained that she was speaking in Enochian. “Don’t worry,” he assured Ben. “She will learn English soon enough."

            Baby Adam couldn’t understand Enochian, but he terrified the life out of Dad when, startled by a squirrel at the park, the baby suddenly had a blade in his hand. Dad took it away from him, and Balthazar built a ward that would keep the blade out of the child’s reach until he was at least ten (Dad was pushing for twelve).

            So there was some weirdness, but they were awesome kids and Ben liked taking care of them (once they were past diaper age). Which is why he eagerly volunteered to take care of them for the day while Dad and Cas went for a drive together. Mary was five now, and Adam was almost two, and they had at least seven games they loved to play with Ben. His aunts and uncles would be in and out of the Bunker if necessary, and he kind of had an Archangel on speed dial. They’d be fine.

            And they were.

            Mostly.

* * *

 

            It started out so simply. They played Snakes and Ladders in the morning (or tried to; Adam didn’t really understand the point of the game). Then they watched cartoons and had fruit salad, which Ben had discovered was a treat when you could have whatever fruit you wanted. Then Adam went down for a nap, and Ben read Mary some stories. When Adam woke up, he clung to Ben like a baby koala as they ate lunch. He was always cuddly after a nap.

            Then Mary had an idea.

            “Ben, can we play Hide n’ seek?”

            Ben hesitated. He loved Hide and Seek. He _loved_ it. But they were so little, and there were so many rooms in the Bunker…what if they got lost? There were quite a few hallways that the kids weren’t allowed to be in, no matter what.

            “How about this?” he compromised. He found a roll of duct tape and led Mary down the hall, Adam still clinging to him. Bending carefully, Ben laid down a piece of tape. “We can only hide on this side of the line, okay?” That left several rooms and kept “The room that makes weird noises and even Gabriel doesn’t want to go in” firmly off limits.

            “Kay!” Mary reached her arms up and took Adam from Ben. “We hide, you seek!”

            The first two rounds went well. Ben did his best to draw out the seeking even when he could see little feet poking out from underneath the bed. He hid one round, and made sure he was breathing as loudly as possible so the little ones could find him.

            Then it was his turn to seek again, and he was surprised to discover that they’d gotten much better at it. For one thing, neither kid was in Dad and Cas’ room (the only place they’d hidden so far). They weren’t hiding in their room either, or the library, or the kitchen…

            Ben didn’t start getting worried until he started checking the places he hid when he played with Dad and Uncle Sam…and they weren’t there either.

            “Mary? Adam?” He glanced towards the line of tape. Maybe…

            Half an hour later, Ben was seriously freaking out. He’d checked every single room past the line, even the bad room (the door was bolted on the inside today, so they couldn’t have gotten in).

            “MJ? Adam? Come on, you guys win! Come out and we can have ice cream or something!”

            No answer.

            Desperate, Ben checked again. He even crawled through the cars in the garage, but Mary and Adam were nowhere to be found.

            Aunt Sarah drove in just as he was starting to think that he might be dreaming. But he’d never dreamt about a very pregnant Aunt Sarah struggling to maneuver suitcase out of a packed trunk. He rushed over to help her.

            “Thank you, sweetie,” Aunt Sarah sighed. “Sam needed to drop the books we bought at the store. He’ll be home soon, and I want to get his present hidden.” She looked around. “Where are MJ and Baby Adam?”

            Ben’s heart almost stopped. “We’re playing Hide and Seek,” he explained. “They’re getting…really good.”

            Aunt Sarah nodded. “It’s nice that you like to play with them so much. Sam and I will have to get you to babysit when the twins come.”

            Ben swallowed hard. No one was going to ask him to babysit if he lost his baby sister and brother. Aunt Sarah left with her suitcase and Ben sank onto a chair, hands trembling. What could he do? Dad and Cas were going to be home in an hour or so, and he had no idea where the kids were.

            Then he had an idea.

            He put his hands together and prayed. _Uncle Gabriel, I need your help. Please?_

Gabriel was there a second later. “What’s up, Ben?” He noticed Ben’s worried frown. “Did you break something?”

            “No.” Ben’s voice wobbled. “I lost Mary and Adam.” He blurted out the story.

            Gabriel considered this. “You know, I think they might just be hiding where you can’t see them.”

            “What?”

            “Angels can turn invisible. And Mary and Adam do have some grace of their own. It’s entirely possible that they did that, maybe without meaning to, or…” and Gabriel raised his voice, “maybe they did it because they thought it was funny, and don’t realize how scared you are. How about that, Mary Jo Winchester?”

            Ben whirled around but he couldn’t see anything.

            “You’ve got two seconds to come back onto this plane, Mary, and bring your brother with you. You’ve made Ben get really worried.”

            There was a pause. Gabriel’s frown disappeared. “Oh, you’re stuck? Hang on sweetie.” To Ben’s shock, Gabriel reached into the air next to them, grabbed hold of something and pulled. Mary tumbled into Gabriel’s hold, Adam on her back. The little boy was crying, and Mary looked scared herself.

            “Thank you, Uncle Gabe!”

            “You’re welcome.” Gabriel handed Adam to Ben, and the toddler curled up in Ben’s arms, crying loudly. “You know you’re not supposed to do that when Daddy and Aba aren’t here.”

            “I just wanted to surprise Ben,” Mary sobbed. “But then I couldn’t get back, and neither could Addy, and Ben couldn’t hear us!”

            “Ben doesn’t have Grace, remember?” Gabriel’s stern look was fading. “He can’t sense you properly. And he can’t pull you out, at least not yet.”

            Mary sobbed again, and Ben reached out to her. “You were trying to surprise me, right?” he said softly.

            “I want to be good at Hide and Seek too,” Mary said, hiccupping. “And Aba was teaching me how to plane-walk and I thought it would be funny. And Adam knows how to a little bit.”

            “Was scared,” Adam said, looking up at Ben with huge blue eyes. Ben kissed his forehead.

            “I’m sorry, Ben,” Mary whispered.

            “It’s okay, MJ,” Ben said. He leaned forward and hugged the little girl. “Just be careful when you play a joke, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

            “And it helps if the joke will actually be funny,” Gabriel pointed out. “You didn’t try to get out until way after Ben was already scared. You need to work on your timing.” But he smiled. “You just need some practice.”

            That gave Ben an idea. “Uncle Gabriel, do you have a little while?”

            “I don’t have any pressing plans, why?”

            “How about we play Hide and Seek together and we teach MJ and Adam how to hide really well? Then they don’t need to plane-walk.”

            Gabriel laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

            Mary held Ben’s hand. “Love you, Ben.”

            “Love you too, MJ.” Ben tugged at her. “C’mon, I’ll teach you how to hide really well.”

* * *

 

            The video faded out, and Cas leaned against his husband. “Well, that was interesting.”

            Dean nodded, eyes still fixed on the screen. Gabriel had dropped into the Bunker about two hours before, and had been streaming them live video of their children’s antics. _I promise I’ll step in if it goes bad, but this is hilarious._

And it had been funny at first. Mary kept making faces at Ben’s back, and Adam actually jumped over Ben’s head and landed in a ‘ta-da!’ pose in front of his older brother. Ben had walked right through him, startling the toddler.

            Then Mary tried to jump in front of Ben too, and she couldn’t get Ben’s attention.

            “Dearest?” Cas asked. “What’s wrong?”

            “Ben has no Grace,” Dean said quietly. “And neither do I. What if they’re with me, and something goes wrong?”

            Cas considered that. “You can always pray to me or my nest.”

            “But they’re my children. I want to be able to help them.”

            “I can ask my Father if there is a way to let all of you plane-walk,” Cas offered. “And we can learn precisely what Mary and Adam will be capable of, and work to cover those points.” He kissed Dean’s head. “But no matter what, you will help them just by being willing to listen and ask for help when you need it.”

            Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’. “I just don’t want them to be afraid.”

            “We’ll work together so they won’t be,” Cas said firmly. “I promise. And in the meantime, what shall we do about this incident?”

            The screen went bright again, and Ben appeared, lying still on the ground and showing Mary how to control your breath. Gabriel was watching and giving Ben a poke to the side every so often, trying to throw the 17 year old off his game.

            Dean smiled. “I think Ben’s got this under control, and we’ll work on the rest when we get back. Let him do the big brother thing for now.” He winced sympathetically as Mary and Adam leaped onto their brother and started tickling him, Ben doing his best not to throw them off.

            Cas chuckled. “We have wonderful children, don’t we?”

            “Yes, we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed!  
> Cheers,  
> Acme


	12. Proposals (for KAL)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some short stories of the proposal kind, though not always the kind you expect.  
> A couple of quick notes that will make sense in context:  
> 1) For those of you who might have missed this, Charlie's birth name was Celeste; she's changed it several times since her parents died.  
> 2) Samandriel is aromantic asexual (he's the only one of his siblings like this).  
> 3) Lisa and Balthazar's section actually begins during AWOBS, then goes beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to KAL for the prompt, and I am so sorry it's a day late, some of the stories got away from me!

Hannah/Meg

**Out Go the Lights**

(if anyone gets that reference you win the 'Closet Country Fan' award. 

            Meg took a deep, shuddering breath. “Wow, Hannah.”

            They were lying together, breathless in the afterglow. Hannah’s hair fanned out around her face, eyes wide as she tilted her head back.

            “I could do this for days.” Meg kissed along Hannah’s throat. “Maybe we should. We could go away together, just you and me.”

            Hannah jerked in surprise.

            “Sorry, baby. Too much teeth?”

            “No, Meg, I was just not expecting that.” Hannah pulled away, but Meg stopped her by winding her tail around her girlfriend’s shoulders.        

            “Baby, what’s wrong?”

            “It’s just…I would love to do that. It sounds fun. But for angels…”

            “You can’t tell me after what you just did that you’re hung up on _purity.”_

“It’s not purity. It’s commitment.”

            Meg froze. “Commitment?”

            Hannah nodded. “Angel mating ceremonies take that long. I thought for a second you were thinking of that, and I wasn’t expecting that.”

            “Why?” Meg demanded.

            Hannah avoided her eyes. “Well, in the first place I didn’t expect you to know about angelic culture in that level of detail. And secondly…I didn’t think we were ready for that.”

            Meg considered that. “I am. What do you need to get there?” She considered that a reasonable question.

            Hannah started crying.

            Okay, maybe it wasn’t.

            “Hey, baby, don’t cry.” Meg fidgeted as Hannah only sobbed harder. “No, come on, do you want ice cream? Forget the question, it was stupid—”

            “I’m not c-crying because you asked a question,” Hannah sobbed. “I’m crying because you said you were ready.”

            “I am ready, Hannah. We’ve been together two years now, and I know that ain’t eternity, but I don’t want eternity without you. But hey, if you’re not ready yet we can wait.”

            “I was ready the moment I fell in love with you,” Hannah said quietly.

            “You—you were?”

            “Of course. That’s why I offered to give up my Grace. I wanted as much time with you as I could have. But I never thought someone would be willing to stay with me forever.”

            “Of course I am.” Meg took her hand. “I’m…I’m yours, angel. I just…I’ll do whatever you want. Even get married.”

            “Married? Oh, I don’t want that!”

            Meg shook her head. “Angel, you make no damn sense.”

            Hannah’s eyes were bright now, and she pushed herself up with one hand. “I know the weddings we’ve seen in our family are beautiful, and I know that Cas and Dean are mated as well as married, but I would…I would rather be mated only. I don’t totally understand why…”

            “That’s how I feel!” Meg couldn’t believe it. “I’ve always thought it was a bit strange. And I like being alone with you, angel. I’m not human anymore, and I don’t want to be. So long as we’re both happy, who cares?”

            Hannah drew her close. “We can go tomorrow,”she murmured, hand stroking through Meg’s hair. “The others will understand. We may have to let them give us presents.”

            “I hate accepting presents,” Meg whined. “I never know what to say.”

            Hannah laughed. “Say thank you, my love. That’s all anyone needs.”

            Meg curled against her. “Hannah?”

            “Yes?”

            “Thank you. For your love.”

            Hannah dropped a kiss on her head. “Thank you for your love, Meg.”

            They fell silent for a few moments.

            “Hannah?”

            “Yes?”

            “You still want to adopt kids, right?”

            “Oh yes. Half a dozen or so.”

            “I think we might want to start off with three and see how that goes.”

            “Agreed.”

            Another silence.

            “Meg?”

            “Yeah?”

            “It’s technically tomorrow in Fiji.”

            “…Let’s go.”  

           

Anna/Charlie

**Victory Day**

            Celeste loved planning her wedding.

            Women in stores would look at her mother in amusement as tiny five year old Celeste reached up for bridal magazines. Her mother would buy her two if she was good, one if she was naughty. They went to the library together and got more magazines out. One day the librarian asked if Trudy was getting married.

            “They’re for me!” Charlie piped up. “I wanna start planning now, I’ve got lots to figure out!”

            “Like what, dear?” the librarian leaned forward so she could actually make eye contact with the child.

            “How my wife and mine’s dresses won’t clash!”

            Celeste was five that day, and she would remember it as the day that librarian burst into tears. Trudy looked so, so sad, and she brought Celeste home, sat her down, and asked her why she wanted to marry a girl.

            “I like girls!”

            “Are you sure, honey?”

            “I know I do! I don’t want to marry Susan, even though she’s pretty, but I could marry Katie! That’d be cool! Or—”

            Celeste was five the day she learned that two girls couldn’t get married.

            “You can live together if you like,” Trudy hastened to explain, “and Daddy and I will treat her just the same as if you were married. But girls aren’t allowed to marry other girls.”

            “Why not?”

            Trudy sighed. “Some people think that it’s wrong. There’s a line in the Bible about it.”

            “But the Bible’s a million pages long! Why does one line matter?”

            “I don’t agree with it, darling, and not everyone does. But there’s other beliefs that say it’s wrong too.”

            “Am I wrong?” Celeste asked, eyes filling with tears.

            “No, baby.” Trudy held her daughter tight, heart breaking. “There is nothing wrong with you. Maybe one day those people will see that. I’ll pray for that.”

            “Do you believe in the Bible, Mommy?”

            “Not in that part. I believe there is a God, and he gave us this Earth and each other, and we’re meant to love and take care of both.”

            “Then why didn’t God stop the Bible?”

            “I don’t know if God could stop that. But it doesn’t matter.” Gertrude put her hand over Celeste’s heart. “You believe in what you believe in, and be kind and brave. Be a brave little Princess, and know that Mommy and Daddy love you, and you’ll find other people that will too.”

            Celeste thought about throwing the magazines out the window, but instead she read them even more carefully, looking for the best possible ways to be a wife. Because she was going to be one. She _would_ be. People couldn’t be dumb forever…right? And she and her wife would wear awesome dresses and Daddy would walk her down the aisle and she would dance with Mommy and everyone would be happy.

            And then her mother and father died, and Celeste became Annie became Susan became Carrie became Charlie. Her wedding plans had a better chance as the years passed, but the most important people for the wedding ceremony were gone for good.

            Then she met Anna.

            Anna who’d been bi as a human, whose hair was only a bit lighter than hers, who’d heard the same condemnation of their hidden dreams for a wedding with two white dresses. Anna _understood,_ and the day everyone in the Bunker was crowded around the TV and listened to the judgement, that same-sex marriage was legal, she and Charlie screamed and sobbed and sang for pure joy with the rest, the same thought in their minds. _I wasn’t wrong._

            Then Anna got on one knee and asked Charlie to be her lawfully wedded wife.

            Dean and Cas, Jody and Donna…they’d been okay with getting married before the law passed everywhere. Charlie and Anna had never discussed it, but they both knew it wasn’t what they wanted. They would get married properly where they didn’t have to hide or travel to be lawful. They’d waited their whole lives, they could wait a little longer.

            Now that it was legal, however, there was a scrambling rush to get everything organized. Charlie found her wedding dress online, Anna went to a few different bridal stores before choosing hers, and Hannah and Sam swore up and down they didn’t clash with each other.

            They decided to get married at the beach, a dream of Anna’s. Charlie was happy to comply, provided that the decorations included references to their favourite books. She also sent an invitation to a librarian from Topeka, now retired, who asked if she could bring a guest.

            The day of the wedding was beautiful, made better by Charlie being woken by her parents for the first time since she was twelve. Her dad’s eyes shone with tears as he walked his daughter down the aisle, and when vows had been exchanged Charlie had her first dance not with her understanding bride, but with the mother who came back for a day to dance with her little Princess, who’d grown into a warrior and won so many victories. Her greatest victory wasn’t won just by her efforts, but also her wife and others like her, who’d stood up for the right to be counted as people who had the right to love and marry.

            People, for example, like the other newlyweds among the guests, retired librarian Anita Bradbury and her partner of twenty years and wife of one week.

           

Benny and Samandriel 

**Baker's Duo**

            “Alfie, I’m making dinner. Want to help?”

            It was the first thing the former vampire had ever said to Samandriel directly, and he’d been a bit confused.

            “You’re always watching me in the kitchen,” Benny explained. “You want to learn?”

            Samandriel hesitated. “I have no experience with human cooking. And I don’t taste things properly.”

            Benny shrugged. “I can teach the first part. Come on, it gets lonely in here.”

            So Samandriel learned the art of the kitchen. With Gabriel and Chuck’s help, he grew some taste buds and soon began to understand what he was cooking and how the flavours balanced each other out.

            Then he served Benny a chocolate cake, choosing ghost peppers as a topping.

            He might have not told Benny that he got his tastebuds right away.  

            Cooking was interesting, but Samandriel fell in love with baking. Even Benny was forced to admit his pie was better, and the former vampire stood in honest awe of the delicate desserts Samandriel made from spun sugar one night, all from scratch. Baking just made sense to Samandriel, and he beamed in delight as Gabriel told him he had a future as a pastry chef. “I’m telling you kiddo, you could work wherever you wanted!”  

            That night Samandriel stayed up late washing the dishes. The humans didn’t understand his urge to clean—“we have a _functional dishwasher_ dude, use it!”—but there was something satisfying about the process. He’d made something beautiful using these tools, and he wanted to show them proper care.

            “That was some dessert, Alfie.”

            Benny had joined him. Without saying another word, he took a cloth and started drying the dishes.

            “Did you really like it?” Samandriel asked.

            “Course I did, _cher._ Wouldn’t say it otherwise.”

            “Yes you would. You were very kind when you started teaching me.”

            “I could see what you’d do, Samandriel. And I don’t buy the idea that shouting at people makes them better.”

            Samandriel looked at him. Benny was smiling, and there was a tenderness in his eyes that was unfamiliar. Samandriel’s skin crawled.

            “You’ve never called me Samandriel before.”

            “Bit of a mouthful, ain’t it?”

            “Or _cher._ ”

            Benny moved closer, and Samandriel backed away, panicking. “No, I don’t—”

            “What?” Benny looked confused, then he shook his head. “No _cher_ , that’s not what I want.”

            “Then what?”

            Benny opened his arms. “Come here?”

            Shaking, Samandriel did, because he trusted Benny, he wanted to believe him. Benny’s arms were strong, and they wrapped around him gently. Samandriel had never felt this safe, not with anyone.

            “Probably started backwards,” Benny muttered into his hair. “Guess I can’t blame you, people round here. I’m not like Adam, Alfie. I ain’t even like Dean.”

            Samandriel relaxed. “I don’t understand,” he admitted, tilting his head up.

            Benny drew him closer. “I love you, _cher_. But I’m not in love. I was only in love once, with a woman who’s long dead, and I don’t want to do that again. After being dead…well, I wasn’t sure I could love at all. But I can. And you’re…you’re special. You make sense to me. And you can bake better than anyone I’ve ever seen. Maybe this time the love of my life’s gonna be my family, my restaurant…and you.”

            Samandriel laid his head against Benny’s chest. “I think that sounds wonderful. Wait, your restaurant?”

            Benny pulled away and drew some papers from his ever-present jacket. “I bought it today. Isn’t it beautiful?”

            The papers were for a diner in Louisiana. Samandriel examined the pictures, seeing a bright, cheerful place with plenty of room for tables and a gorgeous kitchen.

            “Your Nester helped me pay for it,” Benny explained bashfully. “I’m gonna pay him back soon as I can, but I need someone who can make gorgeous desserts to go with my food, who’ll help me clean up after long days and help me wake up on slow mornings. Know anyone like that?”

            Samandriel nearly squeezed the life out of him.

             

Kevin/Adam

**The Right Time**

            Adam found the engagement ring he wanted to give Kevin years before he actually gave it to him.

            His mom was like that. Kate Milligan did her Christmas shopping anytime between December 26th and December 24th, picked out his outfit for his first day of school when he was two (the blue shirt and black jeans were on sale and adorable), and often bought non-perishable food for picnics months in advance. “I’m worried I won’t see it again,” she explained. “I know it’s right, and I can hang on to it just fine.”

            Adam did hang on to the ring as he went back to school, as Kevin finished school, as they both figured out their places in the new Men of Letters. Kevin was still the prophet, but Chuck took it pretty easy on him, and his work turned into dealing with political fires—old school hunters advising extinction, newbies getting nearly exposed, people who thought the Winchesters were the Devil Incarnate (“Sam was possessed by the Devil for like, twelve hours. That’s not Incarnate.”) Adam, meanwhile, worked with good witches (and even a couple of bad ones) to develop better medicine for hunters on the road, and even opened a clinic especially for hunters (though he, of course, had a few ‘normal’ patients). He and Kevin didn’t always live in the same city, but they were happy in their relationship and spoke to each other as often as they could.

            Finally, the moment was right. Kevin had finished a Master’s in Political Science, and everyone was in Lawrence[1] for his graduation. Adam clutched the ring in his pocket.

            When Kevin crossed the stage, Adam saw him roll his eyes when he saw the Extremely Loud and Proud Crowd (that’s what their T-Shirts said). He winced as his boyfriend’s face fell a little when he didn’t see Adam, but that would be because Adam was waiting by the stage.

            When Kevin had accepted his degree, he started to walk down the stairs, but Adam stopped him. Kevin looked puzzled.

            Adam opened his mouth, but his carefully chosen words went out of his mind. Instead he just held up the ring and choked out, “Marry me, please?”

            Kevin leapt down into his arms, nearly knocking them both flat. Adam couldn’t resist spinning him around, which made Kevin’s cap fly off. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He knew for a fact that he was the happiest man on earth.

            He was slightly less happy when he realized that the video of his proposal had gone viral, but he’d come around by their wedding. Which, of course, was the day his “beloved” older brothers decided to show the video again, this time in high definition and a backing track of ‘We Are The Champions’.

            Then Adam looked at Kevin, who was laughing along with everyone else and blushing, and realized that he was still, in fact, the happiest man on Earth.

            He was still loading up Mary, Adam, Bobby and Abby with sugar the next time he babysat.

 

Balthazar/Lisa

_Permanent Impermanence_

The flowers were in the water, they each had a glass of wine, and Lisa was thinking over Balthazar’s proposal.

            She hadn’t been on a date in six months and this guy— _angel_ —had brought her flowers, wonderful white wine, a nice light Riesling, and was offering to court her.

            It sounded nice.

            Lisa wasn’t sure she wanted nice.

            “So you want to…court me. Is that what Cas is doing with Dean?”

            “Not exactly. Besides the fact that my brother has a different…style than I do, he and Dean are planning on mating, and are in that stage of ritual. To be honest, Lisa, I don’t intend to mate with you.”

            “You’re very honest.”

            “I don’t see the point in lying.” Balthazar swirled his wine. “You’re an attractive, interesting woman. You cope well with the supernatural, and I believe that you find me attractive. Unless I’ve read your signals wrong?”

            Lisa tilted her head. “Attractive’s not enough for me.”

            “I wouldn’t like you so well otherwise,” Balthazar replied. “I understand you want someone interesting. I would like the chance to provide that.”

            “And Ben?” The most important question, after she was satisfied. She’d always done it that way; there was no point introducing her child to a man she wasn’t sure about herself. First round, make sure he’s not a jerk. Round two, can he handle a child?

            “Ben seems like an interesting lad. I don’t know the boy well, but Cassie’s talked about him a couple of times this year. Regardless, I have no intention of trying to be the boy’s father. He has two already, as well as an excellent mother.”

            “So what would you want to do?”

            “Oh…not sure, honestly.” Balthazar leaned back in his chair. “I suppose I could engage in some sort of activity with him. He mentioned that he enjoys animals. I can take him on tours to see them in the wild, if he would find that interesting.”

            “Would that be dangerous?”

            “Not at all. If I’m with him, we can stay on a separate plane and observe.”

            “Don’t bring him anywhere dangerous.”

            “You have my word.” Balthazar put his hand over his heart.

            Lisa took a sip of wine. So far, so good. Balthazar was right. She wasn’t looking for someone willing to be Ben’s father. She was looking for someone who could acknowledge that she was a mother and still treat her like a woman.

            “Why me?”

            “I told you…” Balthazar reached across the table and took her hand. “I find you interesting, and I wish to know more. I also think we would have fantastic sex, and it is more fun to do that without constantly worrying that someone doesn’t really know what you are.”

            He looked vulnerable, suddenly, and Lisa took his other hand. “Nothing permanent,” she said slowly. “I might want someone to grow old with someday, but for right now I think you’re right. We’re a good fit.”

            Balthazar kissed her hands. “Nothing permanent,” he repeated.

 

            _Ten Years Later_

Lisa burst out laughing when she saw Balthazar. He was covered head to foot in glitter, and when he revealed his wings, she saw they were sparkly too. “That’s a good look for you.”

            “Hilarious,” Balthazar growled. He stalked over to her dresser and yanked his drawer open.

            “Can’t you just snap it away?”

            “I could if my _dear Nester_ hadn’t given my monstrous little nieces and nephews magical glitter bombs. I have no idea how to get it out.”

            “Don’t get in the shower,” Lisa warned. “I’ll see if I can groom it out.”

            Balthazar started to move towards her. “I want to cheer up first. Ithink I might have a better idea…” he tackled her to the bed, a huge grin on his face as he started to tickle her. Lisa tried to fight him, but she was laughing too hard.

            They did the grooming later that night.

 

_Twenty Years Later_

When Ben turned eighteen, Lisa sat down with him and they talked about hunting.

            Ben was adamant that he wanted to become a hunter. He and Krissy were planning on going to college for education, but they were going to hunt as often as they could. He agreed with his mother that he should probably work with Uncle Sam in the Bunker and learn the Men of Letters responsibilities, but Ben wanted to be a hunter, not a supporter.

            “I want this, Mom. This is the work I want.”

            And Lisa swallowed nausea and hugged her kid, now half a foot taller than her.

            Dean sat down with Lisa the same day and promised that their child would be safe. He swore that Ben would be hunting with an experienced hunter for a few years, and that Dean would accompany him whenever possible. “We’re not letting these kids go out without support, Lis, and I won’t let anyone hurt my son.”

            Lisa believed him.

            She was right to do so. Dean would rather die than let his son be harmed, and one night in November when Ben was nearly thirty three, he almost did.

            Cas sat with her in the silent room. No, almost silent. If Lisa listened carefully, she could still hear her son’s quiet breathing. She could still hear Dean’s breathing.

            It was the only sign they were still alive.

            Cas was weeping silently, his other children asleep in the next room. Lisa was holding on to Ben’s hand. The curse seemed to have made him smaller. Gabriel was working on a cure with Chuck, but the monster was new, terrifying and might possibly have taken its first victims.

            “I came as soon as I heard.”

            Balthazar was quiet as he put his arms around Lisa, resting his chin on her head.

            Lisa couldn’t speak.

            “It’s alright, love. It’s okay to be scared for them.”

            Lisa let her tears come for the first time in hours. Balthazar wrapped his wings around her.

            “I haven’t seen you for a while,” Lisa whispered at last.

            ‘A while’ was five months, the longest they’d been apart in twenty years.

            “I was working with Kali on Pandora. I lost track of Earth time.”

            Lisa nodded, her irritation with him starting to fade. 

            “I’m here now.”

            And really, that was all that mattered. He was here while she kept vigil by her child’s bedside, and he was there when Gabriel came in triumphant, and Ben opened his eyes.

            And Balthazar was there a few hours later, when Krissy came racing in and, seeing that Ben would be okay, berated him for nearly leaving their child fatherless before they were even born.  

_Fifty Years Later_

            Lisa didn’t bother going to the doctor when she started getting spells of exhaustion. She was pretty sure she knew what it was, and she was pushing ninety. It was time for her to go.

            Her granddaughter Leah had graduated and was getting serious with her girlfriend. Part of her didn’t want to miss the wedding, but a much larger part was sending out signals. Not for a fight, quite the opposite.

_It’s time to rest._

            She died unexpectedly quickly. A week after the spells began, she was lying in bed with Balthazar next to her, still young, still timelessly old.

            “It’s going to be alright, love.” Balthazar stroked her hair as she struggled to breathe. “You’ll be in Heaven, and I’ll come to you then.”

             Lisa took his hand. “Thought we said…nothing permanent.”

             Balthazar kissed her forehead. “I think we lied.”

            “Maybe we just wanted to…love without commitment or titles. And we committed to that.”

            “I was never your mate, Lisa Braeden,” Balthazar replied, “but I am yours. And I am happy.”

            “I’m happy too.”

            Lisa closed her eyes then, and woke up in the garden she’d played in as a child. She still had a woman’s body, though much younger, no more aches and pains that Balthazar had offered countless times to heal.

            “I’m human. It’s part of getting old. If you don’t like it, just say so.”

            Balthazar never had. He’d never really left her, even when she was getting far too old for sex, even when she looked old enough to be his mother.

            “I don’t need anyone else. I enjoy your company. I want to stay, if you’ll have me.”

            Balthazar stood beside her. “Shall we continue?”

            Lisa took his hand.

 

[1] I am not making this up. The Master’s of Political Science from KU is from the College of Liberal Arts, which is at their Lawrence campus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading this little story! It was a pleasure to keep exploring the AWOBS universe, and I enjoyed all the prompts! I'm marking this as complete for now, but feel free to make other requests, and I will see what I can do (hint: I will likely say yes :) )  
> Cheers,  
> Acme


	13. To Flock Again (for Serasri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The archangels try to be siblings again, but it's not easy when there's thousands of years of apologies to be made.   
> Fortunately, they have that kind of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Serasri, and I'm so sorry it took so long; I was travelling quite a bit in June, so I didn't have a ton of time to write; most of what I've published up to now has been backlog.   
> This will also likely be two parts, but I need some more time for the other major relationships here, so I will work on that.  
> Bold text is spoken Enochian.

_Gabriel and Raphael_

“I think that’s a good start,” Father said. “You two should get some rest. I imagine you have quite a bit to catch up on.” He smiled.

            It was so strange to see her Father, Raphael mused. After thousands of years, after sincerely believing that He was gone, to speak with Him like they had before the Fall…it was a bit more than she could take, especially after the revelation of Michael’s treachery.

            “You got it, Pops.” Gabriel took her hand. “Raph, I’ve got to go report to the Bunker, but I’ll be back very soon, okay?”

            Raphael nodded. “I will be in the Garden.”

            She flew there without another word, without speaking to her Father. The Garden was clear now, the imprint of Naomi’s wings gone. Her prospective mate was dead, and Raphael was so thankful she could hardly believe it. Her own wings were healed now, but the hurt would stay.

            After Michael fell, Naomi was the only one Raphael could talk to about the old days. Most of the other angels were too young, too hurt in the Fall. And her Nestlings…

            She’d lost everything that day, even if it took thousands of years to realize it. She’d lost Lucifer, lost Michael, lost Gabriel, lost her Nestlings, lost her Father…and through Naomi’s magic, she’d lost herself.

            So who had she become in those thousand years? Who was she? Was she even real?

            Her brother’s Grace surrounded her.

            “Oh sister, I’m here.”

            “You came back…” Raphael whispered. She slipped out of her vessel.

            “I was only gone for an hour…” Then Gabriel understood. “I’m sorry, Raphael.”

            “What was so bad about me?” Raphael asked, pulsing with grief. “What was so wrong that you all left me behind?” _The two Nestlings—she couldn’t bear to remember their names—the only two she’d raised who hadn’t joined Lucifer’s cause, those two had died in the fight with their siblings. Lucifer shoving her aside and taking her Nestlings, Michael and Naomi deciding that she wasn’t thinking properly, Gabriel and Father taking off…_

“There was nothing wrong with you,” Gabriel answered. His wings cradled her as she had once done with him, so curious about this little creature, the last Archangel. He was her charge. But he preferred Lucifer, and so she stayed with Michael.

            “Nothing,” Gabriel repeated. “But we were wrong. We never considered you. I beg your forgiveness, sister.”

            Yesterday Raphael would have given her forgiveness immediately, but yesterday she didn’t understand the depth of her hurt. It wasn’t all at Gabriel’s feet, but she wasn’t ready.

            “I will give it,” she promised. “Just…not yet. Give me time, brother.”

            “Of course,” Gabriel said. “And I will use that time to repent properly. You will be yourself again, Raphael. And I will never let anyone harm you again.”

           

_Lucifer and Michael_

It had been so long since Father came that Lucifer was positive it was a dream.

            His anger at Michael had burned out in the last century, but Michael still acted furious. So they continued to fight. When they were too tired they retreated to opposite corners of the Cage, licking their wounds, watching each other warily. They hadn’t spoken a word in two hundred years.

            Now was one of those times, and Lucifer was dreading getting up again, dreading the idea of fighting again. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t annoyed…his hurt was still there, blazing in his Grace, but hurting Michael wasn’t enough. He just wanted to stop fighting his brother.

            He’d never wanted to fight him in the first place.

            Michael rose, and Lucifer groaned. **Leave me be, Michael.**

If he’d been human, his voice would have been raspy from disuse. As it was, his True Voice fell flat in the Cage.

            Michael’s eyes burned into his. **We must continue.**

**What for?**

**Father will not let us out until our tempers have cooled.**

**I’m not angry anymore, Michael.**

Michael jerked back in surprise. **You lie.**

**No. I’m not lying. I’m too tired. If you want to fight me, you’ll have to fight alone**. Lucifer turned his back on his brother.

He listened, waiting for his brother to charge, but Michael was silent. Silent and still.

            **I am not angry either, Lucifer.**

That shocked him into turning. **Then why do you fight me?  
            I don’t know what else to do. Father wants us to earn our repentance. **

A flicker of anger lapped at Lucifer. **Of course. Father. Tell me, Michael, do you even have a will of your own anymore? What do you want?**

**I don’t know.**

Lucifer began to pace. **We both want to get out of here, is that correct?**

**Of course. This place is terrible.**

**Try it for thousands and thousands of years.** Ten years to an Earth year, his first confinement had lasted hundreds of thousands of years. **You know, I am technically older than you now.**

**You will always be little, brother.**

**I am neither of those things,** Lucifer said quietly, his anger vanishing. **You made sure of that.**

            Silence descended again, and Lucifer was determined he wouldn’t  be the one to break it.

            **I thought I was doing the right thing.**

**Oh, really? I didn’t notice through the cloud of self-righteousness.** He’d given the humans sarcasm when Father had asked (only once) for his input. It was the only thing he could think of.

            **Father wanted it. He said you needed to be punished. But that you would have a chance to make your case. Lucifer…I never thought it would be so long.**

**Did you think to ask?**

**No. I didn’t.**

**I asked you to stop,** Lucifer replied. **Twice.** Once in Heaven, long ago, and once in Stull Cemetery, both of them wearing unwilling Vessels.

            **I know. I didn’t want to.**

**Why?** He’d wanted to ask that for so long, but his pride wouldn’t let him. **And do not say that it is because you are a good son.**

            **Because I was not. After you Fell, I waited for the Apocalypse. And I did so many things, so many terrible things, to be in perfect readiness. There could be no weakness. There could be no one else like you. And what I did to ensure that…the orders I gave…I had to make sure I was right. That all that effort, all that pain, all those broken promises were worth it.**

**And were they?**

**Honestly?** Michael looked right at him for the first time, right into his eyes. **It wouldn’t have been worth it even if I had won. Because I would have lost you. I know I no longer deserved to have you, but losing that chance forever…even I could not pretend that wouldn’t hurt.**

Lucifer looked back. **You hurt me. So I wanted to hurt you back.**

**You had that right. And what do you want now?**

**I want it to stop.**

Michael extended a wing, and for the first time in millennia Lucifer allowed his own to brush against his brother’s. **It will. We will work together.**

**You promise?**

**I promise. Come sit with me, brother. We have much to talk about, and we must make all this time in the Cage worth it.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed, especially Serasri!   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


	14. To Flock Again part 2 (for Serasri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that all four archangels are back in Heaven, there are many wounds to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Serasri, a continuation of the last chapter: I am so sorry that this took so long. I've been picking away at it for months, and I've finally found a way to tell the story that I hope honours these characters.

_Lucifer and Gabriel_

Gabriel didn’t speak to Lucifer for a century after his return.

            He spent that time with Raphael, with his Nestmates, with his father, with his children and Kali. It was easy to avoid Lucifer, and that’s exactly what Gabriel did.

            But one day he got tired of avoiding an inevitable meeting, and he flew to Lucifer’s nest.

            It was isolated from the rest of Heaven; Gabriel could hardly hear the choir. None of Lucifer’s possessions from before the Fall were there except a harp. Gabriel had helped him to build it.

            Lucifer lay in his True Form. For a moment, Gabriel dared to hope that he was sleeping, but then he heard, **are you coming in, brother?**

            **I do not know. Where is your blade?**

            Lucifer tossed Gabriel the sword, and Gabriel put it down quickly.

            **Say what you need to say.** Lucifer raised himself to a seated position. **I will listen.**

            **What if I have nothing to say?**

            **Then why are you here? To kill me?**

            **I’m not you, _brother._ ** Gabriel looked away. **I do not know why I am here. Father conveyed your apology to me.**

            **I am sorry, Gabriel.**

            **You killed me!** Gabriel’s wings rose in anger.   **You didn’t have to kill me, but you did.** _You promised you would never hurt me,_ went unspoken.

            **You are right.** Grief was heavy in the Morning Star’s voice. **You were right then. But…I was too far gone, Gabriel. You could never have helped me. I know your words were meant to help me, but all I could hear was condemnation.**

Gabriel swallowed. **I suppose I was trying to kill you. But I didn’t want to either.**

**No one makes us do anything.**

**No one but ourselves. That’s the burden and the joy of free will.**

Lucifer spread his wings; they fluttered helplessly. **I acknowledge the hurt I have done to you, Gabriel. I do not know what else to do to make it up to you, but whatever it is I will do it.**

Gabriel didn’t know either. Now that he was here, what did he want from Lucifer?

            **If our positions were reversed…if I had killed you and damned you to Purgatory because of how you interpreted Father’s will…if it had been over a thousand years since that decision had been made, what would you do?**

**I would be afraid,** Lucifer replied. **I would worry that your apology was insincere, but I would trust Father when he said that it was. I would…I would try to trust you again, but take my time in doing so, because you hurt me, but I would give you a chance, because in your shoes I would have done the same thing.** His brother’s Grace trembled with pain. **I would want to be brothers again, and hope that it was possible, but be slow to believe it.**

Gabriel stood in silence for a minute. **People have always said I take after you.**

The hope radiating from Lucifer’s Grace was nearly blinding. **I wanted to take it back the moment I did it, brother.**

**I was not angry that you killed me,** Gabriel whispered. **I was angry that my death was not enough to make you stop.**

**Nothing would have been enough, little brother. Nothing would have stopped me. You should have been, but that is not your fault. It is mine.**

Gabriel hesitated for one more minute. **What do you want from me, Lucifer?**

**I want…I want a chance to be your brother again. Away from the Apocalypse, away from all of this hurt.**

And Gabriel believed him. He reached out with his Grace, brushing his wings against Lucifer’s. **I can give you that chance…brother.**

           

_Michael and Raphael_

**Was it worth it, brother?** Raphael asked Gabriel. **Was it worth it to speak with him?**

            Gabriel nodded. **It was not an easy conversation. But all he asked for was a chance, and his remorse was genuine. I believe that Father was right.**

Raphael considered this news. **Do you think I should speak to Michael?**

**I cannot tell you, sister. Are you ready to confront that past?**

A past of broken promises, of control, of torture, and of blind obedience.

            **Samuel and Adam were.**

**You are not Samuel or Adam. You are Raphael, and your experience remains your own. Michael sinned against you.**

**Father forgave him.**

**You aren’t Father either.**

Raphael’s wings fluttered. **If I go, will you be here when I come back?**

**I will.** Gabriel wrapped his wings around her. **My anger with Michael doesn’t demand action. Not yet. My Nestlings are not fully healed.**

**Still?** That upset Raphael.

**They are nearly better. But until they have fully lost their trauma, I cannot approach our brother.**

**My Nestlings are already gone,** Raphael replied. **I suppose I was only waiting for myself.**

With that, before she lost her courage, Raphael flew towards Michael.

            When she landed, Michael leapt away from her. **Raphael?**

It was so bizarre to see her older brother so terrified. He’d never shown fear that Raphael could remember, not even when they realized that Father was gone.

            **I am not going to hurt you, Michael.** Raphael drew her blade and placed it on the ground. They were standing in an empty field, sun high in the sky. Raphael looked around, searching for the source of this Heaven. She spotted a family several yards away—two mothers and a little child.

            **Whose Heaven is this?**

**The child’s. This was the last time she had a picnic with her mothers. She was hit by a car two days later.**

Raphael winced. **Why here?**

**I move between Heavens. I—Father has given me work, to ensure the structural integrity.**

            Then Michael did something else that shocked Raphael. He fell to his knees in front of her.

            **Forgive me sister. I am so sorry.**

**How can I?** Raphael blurted out. **You took away…my self. My person. And you gave me over to Naomi.** She remembered a frightening question. **Did you make me fall in love with her, before you Fell?**

Michael recoiled in horror. **No! Of course not!**

Raphael nodded, satisfied. It made more sense that way. Michael had just wanted her compliant; that didn’t need romance.

            **Why should I forgive you, Michael?** Raphael asked. **What can be gained from this? The past cannot be undone.**

**I understand that.** Michael’s misery was clear in every pulse of his Grace. **But you deserve to know that it was not you that caused my actions.**

**What do you mean?**

**I mean that you had done nothing to hurt me, to make me think you were disloyal. And yet I treated you like a criminal.**

**All I ever wanted was to make you happy!** Raphael exploded. **You were my Nester, I _loved_ you, and you turned me into an—an extension of yourself! **

**Yes.**

**How do you think it made me feel when my torture was reversed? When I realized what you had done?**

**I failed Lucifer!** Michael cried out. **I couldn’t bear to lose you too.**

Raphael’s wings were flared high, and to her shock Michael’s fell down. He’d never backed down from her challenge.

            **Say what you mean.**

**I thought I was too easy on Lucifer,** Michael choked out. **I was his Nester too, remember? I didn’t teach him properly. It killed part of me to throw him down to Hell. I couldn’t let you have the same fate.**

**Why not trust me?** Raphael whispered. **Why not teach me yourself?**

**Naomi knew how to get results,** Michael admitted. **I did not trust myself to help you, and it seemed to work. You were my little sister again, and you did not grieve so deeply.**

**Until the torture was reversed.** The day she remembered how much it hurt to watch her Nestlings turn on her, to watch them Fall, watch them die…

            They weren’t archangels. They didn’t survive the Fall.

            Michael nodded. **I know. None of what I did was right. I should have supervised Naomi. I should have trusted you. I should never have followed the orders that tore our family apart.**

**You were not the only one,** Raphael replied. **My decisions were my own at some point. I have done things I am not proud of.** She shook out her feathers. **Brother, I came here thinking I would not forgive you. I didn’t think you deserved it. Even if you repented for Father, that does not mean you repented for me.**

Michael bowed his head. **I respect your decision, little sister.**

**You’re not listening, Michael. You must learn to do that.**

            There was a pause, and then Michael looked up at her. **You have…changed your mind?**

For a second Raphael felt like a fledgling again, wanting to make people feel better when they were sad.

            **I have. Do not make me regret it.**

**You never will, little sun. I promise you.**

            That nickname—one she hadn’t heard in thousands of years—drove Raphael down too. Michael’s wings were around her, and she was okay with that.

            It felt like she’d come home at last.

            **I needed you,** she sobbed. **I needed you, brother.**

**I let you down,** Michael answered. He drew her closer. **I never will again.**

_Gabriel and Michael_

**Brother?**

Gabriel whirled. Michael stood some distance away.

            Gabriel brought up his blade. **Go away.**

He was about to fly away, but then he heard familiar voices.

            **Hide,** he snapped at Michael.

Michael moved his hand in a circle, creating a bush large enough to hide the both of them. Gabriel crouched down as the speakers grew closer;  Lisa and Balthazar, walking through the garden.

            “How is Gabriel?” Lisa asked.

            “He’s doing well. He is expecting a child with Kali.”

            “The world better brace itself,” Lisa laughed, but her expression sobered. “But I meant with the archangels back…his brothers…”

            “I know he spoke to Lucifer about twenty years ago,” Balthazar mused. “But he hasn’t spoken to Michael, from what I understand.”

            “You sound confused.”

            “I am.” Balthazar sighed. “Michael never did anything to Gabriel directly. He cast Lucifer out, of course, but Gabriel was left in peace.”

            “But he let you and your Nest be hurt.”

            Balthazar ran a hand through Lisa’s hair. “Yes, but I’ve forgiven that.”

            Gabriel jerked in surprise.

            “Have you?”

            “Of course. I cannot forgive him for my siblings, but that’s not my place anyways. Their forgiveness belongs to them. And Gabriel’s forgiveness belongs to him, too. It would break my heart if he thought he would hurt us, or betray us. They are still brothers. And I know that Gabriel wants things back to the way they once were.”

            “Maybe that will happen.”

            “I hope so. Now come, my lady. Ben and Krissy are expecting us.”

            The two walked off.

            Michael vanished the bush and walked away.

            **Michael.** Gabriel struggled against every instinct he’d developed in the last few millennia; think of others, think of others, your own wishes aren’t as important as the group at large. He wanted his children and his Nestlings to be safe, they came first. They always did.

            But if they didn’t want that, if they truly felt like his forgiveness didn’t depend on theirs…

            If it had been anyone but Balthazar, Gabriel might have wondered. But Balthazar was much more private than his siblings, even after all this time. He listened and contributed, but he didn’t share outside the circle. If he was talking to Lisa about this, not only did he mean it, he was comfortable with the idea.

            And as much as he loved his Nestling, Balthazar was not the most ‘emotionally wise’ person he’d ever met.

            **Michael, I…**

**You don’t have to follow his word, Gabriel. I sinned against your Nestlings, because I was afraid that Lucifer’s influence had extended to them through you.**

**In what universe did you see _me_ under Lucifer’s influence? **He’d loved his brother, certainly, but the day of the Fall, he’d stood with Father, weeping as Michael cast Lucifer down.

            **He was your Nester. You always asked questions the way he did. I worried he’d raised you that way, and you were doing the same for your Nestlings.**

Gabriel wanted to contradict Michael, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. **That did no harm.**

**But it did to Lucifer. And when you left, I thought…well, I thought perhaps you loved me enough not to fight me, but not enough to stay. I thought I was right.**

Tangled emotions and memories rose in Gabriel. But the clearest one was just a moment ago with Balthazar.

            **I forgive you for what you did to me, Michael. And if you saw things that way…I suppose I can understand what you did to my Nestlings.**

Michael stared at him. **I promise you, brother, I never understood the full extent of what Naomi was doing. I didn’t care to check, and that was my greatest sin. Raphael has taught me that much.**

Gabriel wondered what to do for a minute. What was there to say now? How could they start over—or start again, really. There was no going back.

            Then he had it.

            **You say Father has you doing work. Can I help you?**

He’d said that so many times as a fledgling, in awe of his oldest brother and all his responsibilities.

            And just like then, Michael smiled. But it was an older, wiser smile, the smile of someone who has harmed and been harmed, and wants to try again.

            **Of course, little brother.**

 

_Raphael and Lucifer_

Raphael ran into Lucifer by accident. She was flying across Heaven to meet with Father, and she wasn’t expecting to literally fly into Lucifer.

            But her wing slamming into Lucifer with all the force she could muster wasn’t an accident.

            Lucifer jumped away. He looked bewildered, as if he couldn’t see her. Or if he could, then he didn’t know why she was attacking him.

            Raphael didn’t care. She attacked again, this time drawing her blade.

            Lucifer had recovered from his shock now, enough to block her blade with his own. **Raphael, stop!**

**Do not _dare_ to tell me what to do! **Raphael shrieked. She met his blade again, swinging her wings wide. **You took my Nestlings!**

Lucifer flew backwards, far enough for him to put up a shield. Raphael bounced off of it, and shrieked again in fury.

            Lucifer was curled in defence, his blade up and his eyes on Raphael. **Do not do this, Raphael.**

**You took my Nestlings!** Raphael threw herself against the barrier, screaming again when she fell backwards.

            **I understand your anger, Raphael. And if you want to harm me, do it. But don’t do this here.**

Raphael knew where they were standing. It was a part of Heaven stitched together after Lucifer’s Fall, after the burning and the fighting.

            But once it was her Nest, her Nest where she’d raised all her Nestlings.

            She could still feel the remnants of their Graces, mingled together to form the secure, cozy place they’d played and learned and grown. It was so faint, but if she closed her eyes, she could almost hear their voices.

            There were only four of them—Elia, Tristan, Willa and Nemo. Father had only had the time to give her those four. _And you are young Raphael. You may have more soon._

All four showed a gift for healing, so Raphael taught them all she knew. But they were also singers, and sang in Heaven’s choir. That was where they came under Lucifer’s control.

            Nemo, her youngest, was the only one who hadn’t joined Lucifer’s cause. He’d come to her with worry. Raphael went to Michael. And on the day they fought, Nemo was killed and the other three refused to repent, and were doomed to Fall.

            **What are you doing here?** Raphael whispered. **Haven’t you taken enough from me?**

**I was about to leave,** Lucifer answered. **I was just flying, and I felt a pull to this place.**

**You are not welcome.**

**I see that. Raphael…they did not join me to hurt you.**

Raphael snarled. **You do not get to speak for them!**

**I am the only one who can.** Lucifer’s wings fluttered with agitation. **They had free will, Raphael, and they wanted to heal the world. You taught them to care for all living things, and they saw that humans were the most dangerous creation. They hoped you would follow me too. They were devastated when you chose to fight against them.**

**I fought against you! You wanted to pull down what Father created, you wanted the throne. I wasn’t going to give it to you.**

**I know. I know, Raphael. And if I could have protected them, I would have. You know I didn’t kill them.**

**One of yours killed Nemo.**

**Elowen fell, Raphael. She was…more dangerous than I understood. When we fought, I gave the word that no angel would die. Elowen didn’t listen. If I had won, I guarantee that she would have been punished.**

Raphael didn’t want to believe him. It was easier to let her grief control her, to let the memories consume her and guard against the future.

            But Lucifer stood before her, and he was telling the truth. Elowen was one who’d been raised by Father outside of the Archangel’s Nests. One of the first to join Lucifer’s side, she’d terrified Raphael.

            **You still started it.** A childish expression, perhaps, to describe the entire destruction of Heaven, of the way they’d grown up.

            **I know. And no matter what I do, I cannot take it back. The only thing I can do is give you the truth, and that is insufficient.** The barrier came down. **If you wish to fight me, name the time and place, and I will meet you there.**

**What good does that do for me?** Raphael vanished her blade. **Will that bring back my Nestlings?**

**I am surprised Father hasn’t brought them back,** Lucifer mumbled.

            Raphael flinched. Almost two thousand years before, the day Father returned, so many angels were revived, but none of her Nestlings. She couldn’t bring herself to ask why, not once.

            Maybe she could now. 

            **Do you know why?**

            **I believe Father tried, but they were no longer angels.**

            **What?**

**Elia, Willow and Tristan’s Graces survived the Fall, and they were reborn as humans, similar to Gabriel’s Anna. They were born, and lived, and died.**

**So they’re here?** Raphael caught her breath. All this time, had they been under her nose?

**They were reborn many times,** Lucifer answered. **I believe they are alive right now.**

Raphael grabbed hold of him. **The only ones who are reborn are those who are neither good nor bad.**

**To get another chance. I know.** Lucifer looked away. **They have been doing so for millennia, Raphael. They haven’t made it to Heaven.**

**_Why?_**

**Perhaps they keep losing their way, as they…as they once did when they had Grace.**

Raphael flinched. **I want to help them. And I want to know why Father didn’t tell me.**

**He wanted to give them a chance to help themselves. Free will, and all. He wanted them to return to you on their own.**

**And…and do they know what they are?**

**Sister, Father doesn’t want you to fret about them. They will come in time, and you have your own healing to do.**

**I don’t care what Father wants! I want to know.**

**And you have the right to that knowledge,** Lucifer agreed. **He has told them for their last five lifetimes, Raphael. It hasn’t…it hasn’t been enough.**

Raphael wrapped her wings around herself, remembering their dear little faces.

            **I will help you, sister.** Lucifer had moved away from her. **You and I can talk to Father. We can try to find Nemo, and we can guide your Nestlings back home.**

**Why would you do that?**

**Because you are my sister, and I spent too long forgetting that. Because I did encourage them to fight, and I put them at risk. Because…because I want to make sure everyone gets to come home.**

Raphael unwound her wings. **You think we can find Nemo?**

**If he isn’t in the Empty where the rest were, he must be somewhere else. We can look together while we help the others.** Lucifer held out a hand. **I want to undo some of what I’ve done to you, sister. May I have that chance?**

Raphael took his hand. **Do not make me regret this.**

To her surprise, Lucifer laughed. **Sister mine, if I do I want you to kill me immediately.**

_All Together_

It took time for Gabriel to feel that Lucifer was truly well again.

It took time for Raphael to believe that Michael wasn’t going to let her down.

            It took time for Lucifer to smile again.

            It took time for Michael to become comfortable with Raphael.

            But they did come back, because eternity is long without your siblings. And eternity was still long—a long wait for Raphael’s Nestlings to rejoin the host, a long time to keep Heaven going and attend to the problems of the Earth.

            But by the four thousandth anniversary of their Father’s return, they were family, with their issues worked out, their wounds healed, their trust rebuilt and their love grown back like the flowers in their garden.

            And the next few thousand years looked much brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe this concludes this story, though of course if someone has a request I may continue.   
> Cheers,  
> Acme

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first chapter that I wrote for the sequel (I am Sam/Sarah TRASH), but next chapter will be the first of the requests. If anyone has any further ones, send 'em on in!  
> Cheers, Acme  
> PS One final warning--there are several weddings coming up. Blame ME1, she gave me permission.


End file.
